


Poison Tree

by troublesomedragon



Category: Satan and Me (Webcomic)
Genre: And Lucifer ends up playing babysitter, Gen, In which God decides to have a do over, Multichapter, Reset button AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-18 00:03:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16984326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troublesomedragon/pseuds/troublesomedragon
Summary: Lucifer and Michael are tasked with taking care of the first human. Naturally, Lucifer wants nothing to do with it.





	1. Made for Us

###  Made for Us

Lucifer looked up at the newly formed stars in appreciation. His father has been busy. In the last few days alone, he has put most of his effort creating life beyond Heaven. He didn't think much of the earth below, currently it mostly consisted of dirt and long stretches of water, but the earth was far from finished. Father added something new every day. He was taking special care of that particular hunk of rock for some reason. 

“I've been looking for you, Luce. Father has a surprise for us,” Michael said. He must have looked grumpy because he added, “And, there's no such thing as a bad surprise.” Lucifer wasn't so sure about that. Father's surprises tended to be alive and often difficult to deal with. If his current track record held, they were likely looking at another sibling, and the last thing he wanted was another sibling. He'd barely learned to tolerate the one's he already had. 

“If you say so,” Lucifer said, following dejectedly behind Michael. He might as well get the introductions over with. He could decide whether he liked this new sibling or not later when said angel had a better idea of what its purpose was. Michael continued to babble excitedly, and Lucifer did his best to nod and feign enthusiasm for his sake. 

They arrived at the healer's temple where they found Raphael holding a screaming, crying, squishy thing that definitely was not an angel. It was not a fully formed, intelligent creature, part of him worried that Father had not had time to finish it with how busy he'd been. Apart from its disappointing size, he did not sense anything particularly angelic about the thing. It was not connected to Heaven's essence.

While the small red headed girl vaguely looked like them, he found everything about her repulsive. She had swollen red puffy eyes, a violent temper, and she seemed to be constantly leaking. From what he could tell, the creature was inferior in every way, and Lucifer could not bring himself to accept this particular surprise as his responsibility. 

Thank Father, Michael was undeterred by the loud ugly surprise. He immediately took her from Raphael's arms and lifted her up high to get a better look at her. The girl stopped crying instantly as if equally in awe of his brother's unending enthusiasm as he was. At least, they knew it was capable of shutting up now. Even Raphael, usually patient and stone faced, seemed relieved at the sudden silence, Lucifer smirked.

“What do you want to name her?” Right, at the moment, the girl was still both their responsibility. He was going to fix that. Michael seemed to like the girl. He could take it from here. His father shouldn't care as long as the girl was taken care of, right?

“You can keep it,” Lucifer said, not bothering to hide his disdain for the girl. Michael frowned, and the girl had the nerve to mimic his expression. 

“Come on, Luce, she's not so bad. Go ahead and take a closer look,” Michael offered, holding her up for him to take. The girl, previously uninterested in him, suddenly made grabby hands at him as if he was suddenly the most important thing in her small insignificant life. He held her if only to placate Michael. As he looked into her large green adoring eyes, something clicked. 

“Natalie,” he decided, without really knowing why. Michael considered the suggestion for a moment. 

“Nat, I like it, “ Michael decided.

“That’s not what I said,” Lucifer grumbled. Michael ignored him and retrieved the girl from his arms. 

“Do you like your new name, Gingersnap?” Michael cooed. Why did his brother instantly become ten times more annoying when the girl was involved? The girl laughed in approval, and once again, it was like he never existed. Not that he cared that his favorite sibling was ignoring him for something that had a three second attention span and he definitely didn't care if the girl liked him or not. 

Raphael coughed loudly in a pathetic attempt to get their attention. When Lucifer pretended not to notice and Michael was too distracted to care, he bluntly cut to the chase. 

“Father has requested that you both take care of Natalie for the time being. She is but a child and cannot be left unattended,” Raphael began before Lucifer cut him off. 

  What is a child exactly?” Raphael smiled, a kindly condescending smile.

“This is not her final form. She’s going to keep growing and learning as time goes on. Be mindful of what you teach her, ” Raphael said, giving Lucifer in particular a knowing look. He must have seen something in his soul he didn't like. Lucifer almost hated to ask since he was being judged for something he couldn't conceal effectively. 

 “What’s time?” Raphael laughed.

 “It’s hard to explain since it is not something that affects us, but it should become more apparent the longer you are with her.” Raphael said. 

  “Can’t wait to see what you turn into, lil' buddy, ” Michael said to the giggling flesh in his arms, still insisting on talking to the girl like she could understand what was happening around her. It's not something he was going to bother with if he happened to get stuck with her. 

  “As I was saying,” Raphael said, clearing his throat in an attempt to regain control of the conversation. Lucifer chose not to interrupt only because he was about ready to leave and pawn the girl off on Michael indefinitely.

“She will remain in Heaven until the garden is completed. From then on, one of you will look after her in Eden,”  Raphael said. 

“When will the garden be completed?” Michael asked, curious as always. He'd been far more excited by the prospect of earth than Lucifer ever could bring himself to be, especially now. The earth, the piece of rock his Father was spending all his time perfecting, was it all for this little brat?

 “I suppose you'll have to let me know next time you get the chance. Father has asked you to oversee the project, Michael,” Raphael said. Michael eyes lit up.   

“That's amazing, but what about Nat here? ” Michael said, holding up the girl for emphasis. The girl waved at Raphael shyly as if she knew she was being talked about. Lucifer dismissed the thought immediately. The thing couldn't even speak. 

“I understand you'll be very busy with the project which is why Lucifer will be taking care of her the majority of the time,” Raphael said. Lucifer could feel his blood run hot. 

“What?” he said in utter disbelief. 

“All Father asks of you Michael is that you provide your brother guidance if he appears to be struggling with his new responsibility,” Raphael said, ignoring Lucifer’s silent fuming. 

“Of course, I'll help out when I can. I won't leave you hanging, bro,” Michael said, reluctantly depositing the child into Lucifer's shaking hands. He must have noticed because his brother gave him a quick hug and squeezed his shoulder in silent encouragement. It did nothing to quell his anger. 

“Gabriel is waiting for you at his residence to discuss plans for the garden,” Raphael said.   

“I'd better head out then,” Michael said cheerfully before casting an uneasy glance his way. 

“I'm counting on you, Luce.” He said nothing, refusing, for once, to assure his brother that everything would be fine. Everything was not fine. Lucifer stood there, perfectly stiff, with teeth clenched as Michael bent down to talk to the thing. 

“Bye Gingersnap,” Michael said, ruffling her hair. The girl latched onto his hand and seemed to silently beg him to stay with her eyes. Lucifer frowned. The girl didn't want him. This irritated him all the more and an unfamiliar pit of resentment pooled in his stomach at the thought. 

“Don't be scared Nat. Luce will take good care of you,” Michael assured her, releasing his hand from her grip with some difficulty. She continued to frantically reach for him as Michael purposefully kept himself out of reach. Then, he quickly planted a small kiss on her forehead before summoning his wings and taking off. 

Raphael and Lucifer stood there silently for a moment. Raphael calm and composed as ever while Lucifer's rage continued to fester under the surface. The girl babbling nonsense in protest as Michael flew away wasn't helping. Once Michael was out of earshot, Lucifer spoke. 

“Don't I get a say in  this?” 

Raphael's face betrayed nothing as he asked.

“Are you choosing to go against Father's wishes?” Lucifer's blood ran cold, an entirely different feeling taking over. He did not want to upset Father. 

“No, I just feel she's a mistake,” Lucifer said. At this, Raphael frowned. His disapproval no longer hidden under the surface. The girl sat, silent and still in his arms. Lucifer refused to look down and see the expression on her face. She didn't understand what he was saying anyway, what did he care.   

“I would chose your next words carefully, Lucifer.”

“She's more trouble than she's worth. Why has Father put all his time and energy into something so clearly inferior to what he has already created? ” Lucifer said. He felt better having said it. Raphael didn't speak for some time as if pondering the question before taking a deep breath and giving his answer. It was not what Lucifer expected, at all. He hated Raphael all the more for it. 

“Brother, at first, I believed Father's choice in guardian for this small child peculiar. You do not love easily, Lucifer. I too thought Father's choice a mistake, but I see now you need this, more than any other angel.”

“Excuse me, just what are you implying, I am not a mistake,” Lucifer snapped before realizing what he'd let slip. He hated himself all the more for it. 

“That's not what I said. I am saddened you feel that way about yourself. You need a chance to grow, and this small girl is going to help you as much as you are going to help her,” Raphael said with a conviction that Lucifer couldn't help rebel against. 

“Leave her with me and I will ruin her,” Lucifer vowed. Raphael hesitated for a fraction of a second, and Lucifer was satisfied to see genuine fear in his eyes before his brother collected himself.

“I have chosen to trust Father's judgment on this matter. He has faith in you, Lucifer. Don't throw it away, for the sake of your pride. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other matters to attend to. Good luck.” Raphael said, cutting the conversation short as if sensing the storm in his soul growing dangerous, even without looking him in the eye. 

Alone now, he wanted to toss the wretched thing into the dismal earth below, but Father had faith in him. Lucifer felt his anger leave him, just like that. He sighed. Finally looking down at his new charge, maybe, he could at least try to make this work. The girl did not look up, and he could hear her quietly sniffling. Michael would have asked her what was wrong and tried to make her smile. He was not good at consoling others and didn't even try. Instead, he examined her while she quietly sulked. 

Her long hair had been carefully combed into pigtails and decorated with flowers. One of the other angels must have done her this kindness. It did not seem the type of thing Raphael would think to do. A robe had been hastily cut and stitched together to fit her, pinned on with a simple wooden cross. She was barefoot. They likely hadn't had time to custom make sandals for her. He'd have to ask about getting her a pair if Michael hadn't thought to do so already. 

The girl finally turned around to look at him. There was a sadness in her eyes, nowhere near as deep as he'd seen in Uriel's eyes but still enough for him to feel a pinprick of guilt before casting the thought away. She couldn't have understood what he meant. He wiped away her tears, if only so he didn't have to look at them anymore. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his shoulder. Surprised, he held her closer, fixated on her every shaky breath and trembling body. What would his brother do? 

“What's wrong, Natalie? ” he asked, feeling foolish as soon as he said it. She didn't understand what he was saying. The girl looked up at him and started babbling again, this time sounding fairly angry. He laughed, and she released his neck and attempted to smush his face with her tiny hands. He rolled his eyes at her but did nothing to stop her. She eventually grew bored of playing with his face and started grabbing fistfuls of his hair which he tolerated until she yanked too hard. 

“Okay, that's enough that,” Lucifer said, prying her little fingers away from his hair and lifting her safely out of reach. She continued to make grabby hands at him in vain until it became obvious he wasn't letting her anywhere near his hair ever again. When she started to fidget and complain loudly, he relented and brought her down. He placed one hand behind her back and used the other to secure her legs as he'd seen Michael do. As soon as they were eye level, she went straight for his hair again. 

Why you little- He lifted her back up, and she laughed. This time, he did not bring her back down when she complained, and she continued to squirm incessantly. Lucifer thought nothing of it until she grew impatient and bit his fingers. Caught off guard, he let her go. In a panic, he reached for her tiny hand, only for her to slip past him, falling away from Heaven toward the Earth below. 

No. No. Oh Father, No. He didn't think twice. He summoned his wings and went after her. 

Natalie didn't seem to realize the danger, still happily laughing as she slowly fell to her doom. Of course, the stupid thing wouldn't have any self preservation instincts. Lucifer caught her easily. He had been blessed with the fastest wings imaginable. 

Now that she was safe, he focused on slowing his descent. The girl looked at him in awe, predictably reaching for his luminescent rainbow wings. He was not amused, in fact her wild squirming in an effort to reach them only served to irritate him further. Natalie had learned nothing, and he couldn't help but dread the next time she would stubbornly escape from his reach. 

Lucifer landed outside the healer's temple and chose to leave his wings out, too paranoid to retract them. Lucifer was relieved to see no one had witnessed his stupid mistake and was dismayed when he felt the girl yank a feather from his folded wings. He glared at her, and she sheepishly returned the feather as if that would make it better. It was a nice enough gesture to make him hold his tongue. Considering the ordeal they just went through, he'd let it go just this once. 

Lucifer took her to his residence. He didn't see the point of the empty space and was hardly ever there. There was a bed, a couple of furnishings and decorations that had been placed there before it was given to him, but he'd never bothered adding any personal touches. Even so, he was grateful for it now. He could put her down and let her roam without fear of her falling out of heaven again. 

Lucifer placed her on a loose cushion nearby, retracted his wings, and made himself comfortable on the bed. At this point, he expected the worst and was surprised, when instead of crawling toward the exit, she crawled onto his lap and slept. Lucifer relaxed and waited, sure that his control freak of a brother would show up soon to retrieve the little girl. Unfortunately, this was not the case. His brother did not arrive until well after sunrise, leaving him to endure being Natalie's plaything when she did finally wake up. Lucifer had attempted to distract her of course, but ever since the incident, she only had eyes for him.   

Michael entered, still panting, clearly in a rush to confiscate Natalie. Lucifer smirked. His brother was way too easy to predict. Apparently, he had expected the worst. Michael took a good look around and calmed down. Currently, Lucifer and Natalie were surrounded by pillows and shiny baubles. Despite this, Natalie was currently playing with his hair. She'd finally learned he'd let her if she didn't pull too hard. 

Michael walked over to them, sporting a practiced smile, ready to greet her. Lucifer untangled her fingers from his hair and placed her in front of Michael. She whined and returned to his lap, wrapping her arms around him. He patted her on the head, unlatched her arms from his neck, and gave her to Michael. Party's over kid. 

“Hey Gingersnap, did you miss me?” Michael asked. She ignored him and continued to reach out for Lucifer. His brother frowned, puzzled. The situation had reversed, and Lucifer was now the favorite. He smiled smugly, enjoying the girl's adoration in spite of himself. 

“She really seems to like you now. I'm glad,” Michael said. His smile forced for once as Natalie continued to struggle to get out of his grip. Lucifer stifled a laugh. His brother desperately needed to be liked by everyone, and this was clearly messing with his head. 

“I'm going to take her off your hands for a while. Later Luce,” Michael said. He nodded, enjoying the show. Natalie started babbling desperately, trying and failing to get Lucifer's attention. He waved goodbye, relieved to finally be rid of her. 

Just before Michael made it out the door, she shouted, “Luci.” Michael stopped dead in his tracks. Lucifer's eyes widened in surprise. She'd actually said his name, or at least tried to. 

Taking a deep breath, his brother addressed the little girl in his arms, a deadly calm present on his face. “Do you want to stay with Lucifer?” She nodded, babbling happily. Michael only let himself look disappointed for a moment before giving her a warm smile. 

“Okay, I'll come check on you later” he said, giving her a simple kiss on the forehead before turning around. Lucifer could feel the anger slowly returning. No, Michael, don't you dare. 

“What do you think you're doing? It's your turn,” Lucifer said when Michael tried to hand her over to him. Michael blinked and stated the obvious.

“She wants to stay with you. How can you say no to that face?” Michael said, holding her up for emphasis. Natalie reached out for him eagerly. 

“Luci,” she said again. His heart skipped a beat. Any other angel would have been instantly won over. 

“No,” Lucifer said, walking away, her falling from the sky fresh on his mind. She was better off with Michael anyway. He could hear his brother sigh behind him.

“It's not happening, Nat, but don't worry, we'll have plenty of fun,” Michael whispered softly as if he couldn't hear. She made a sound he couldn't quite identify, if he had to guess he would have said it was the sound of the tiny creature's disappointment. Lucifer didn't turn around. She didn't call out to him again. He only knew they left when he heard the sound of Michael's fluttering wings.


	2. Sing Me to Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Lucifer decides one human is okay, and Natalie decides that Lucifer is indeed her favorite.

### Sing Me to Sleep

Everyone knew Lucifer did not like being told what to do. The only requests he never refused were his Father's which had been simple enough at first, but the idea of having to take care of this girl for all eternity did not sit well with him. So, he'd made himself scarce, flying far from Heaven's temples into the open sky. When he'd flown a suitable distance away, he sat down, enjoying the colors of the sunrise. And for a while, he was content to sit there and imagine all the wild things he could never do inside Heaven's walls, but as the colors faded and the sky turned dark, a sigh escaped his lips. Michael would come find him soon.

And one way or another, Michael would lure him back to Heaven. He always did.

Either Michael would get lucky and find him by next sunrise through sheer determination alone, or he'd exhaust himself and give up by nightfall, an utter blubbering mess because he never truly believed Lucifer would return on his own. Of course, Lucifer always did eventually come back home. He'd be stupid, not to.

All his family was in Heaven.

Even now, hidden in the vast expanse of sky, his goal wasn't just to upset Michael because he could. He knew his absence would be felt more keenly than any words he could scream into his sibling's ear. With any Luck, once Michael had his "baby" brother back, safe and sound, the last thing he'd want was to provoke him into pulling a similar stunt, and he'd be free of the girl for at least another week.

And, maybe, If he did this enough times, Michael would finally take the hint and give the girl to someone else while he worked on the garden with Gabriel, regardless of Father's wishes.

His hopes were immediately dashed when he saw Michael's cerulean wings peeking through the clouds. A feeling of dread seeped deep into his skin, crawling its way into the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, he wanted to be anywhere but here. He reminded himself that, yes, he did love his brother, regardless of the fact he was an unrelenting beacon of light determined to burn him to oblivion with his unending optimism. Things would be okay as long as he controlled his temper. So, he forced a smile and waited.

Soon, his brother surfaced and landed beside him with the kid in tow. They both grinned excitedly at him, and despite their good intentions, their matching expressions made him sick. When had they become so alike? He made himself look down at the clouds below, not quite able to hide his disgust.

“How did you find me?” Lucifer asked evenly, in an attempt to mask the accusation in his voice. He'd never found him this quickly before.

“Nat here had one of your feathers. So, Raphael had Father bless it so we'd always be able to find you. Isn't that thoughtful of him?” Michael said cheerily, holding up one of his golden feathers which they'd crudely tied onto a string.

Lucifer flinched. Father likely knew he'd tried to ditch them now.

Michael gave him a hug when he saw the sour look on his face, and Natalie practically jumped into his arms the minute Michael let her go. He caught her on instinct, holding her still as he allowed his brother the illusion of cheering him up. In the end, it did nothing to rid the bitter taste of betrayal from his tongue. He simply didn't have the heart to tell them so.

Oh Father, Their love was suffocating.

“He really didn't have to go through all that trouble. I would have come back,” he said, forcing another smile, hoping to hide his obvious attempt to shirk his responsibility, how he loathed Raphael for giving him no choice in the matter. Lucifer would just have to think of some way to repay him for . . . his kindness.

“I'm sure you just lost track of time,” Michael said as if he knew what time meant.

“Let's go with that,” Lucifer said, resigned to his fate for now. He'd find a way to swipe the stupid enchanted feather later.

“Welp, I've gotta go. The garden isn't going to plant itself. Have fun you two,” Michael said, waving goodbye to Natalie before taking off. She waved back. Lucifer waited until Michael was out of sight before glaring down at Natalie.

“When did you even get that back?” he hissed. She started babbling nonsense again while playing with his hair, completely oblivious to what he was talking about.

Lucifer felt like an idiot for thinking even for a moment that Natalie was capable of understanding anything he actually said. Lucifer considered instead what was actually causing her to react the way she had until now. Clearly, she was responding to something. The waving made sense. She was imitating everything she saw. She'd become upset when he'd argued with Raphael, but she'd cheered up instantly when he'd softly asked her what was wrong. The only real difference he could think of was his tone of voice. So, Lucifer decided to experiment. He lifted her up, ignoring the pain in his scalp as she managed to yank out a few strands of his hair in the process.

“I would get rid of you for good if I thought I could get away with it,” Lucifer said, imitating his brother's absurdly upbeat voice. She laughed and clapped her hands together.

Grinning, he kept going.

“And you still like me better than Michael, you must be stupid,” Lucifer said. She started squirming again in an attempt to touch him, and it was then he was reminded that he was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by clouds that would not hold a human.

“You're lucky that Father likes you,” he muttered, before summoning his wings. She squealed in delight, and he smirked. Humans were easy to please.  

As he flew through the sky, he noticed a few key differences in Natalie's temperament that he couldn't help but attribute to Michael's influence. She was perfectly still as they traveled through the sky, holding on tightly to his neck. She wasn't as loud instead murmuring sweet nothings to the sky. And most importantly, she wasn't treating his wings as playthings and was content to silently admire them from afar. Flying with her was surprisingly pleasant.

They returned to Lucifer's residence, and he unceremoniously dumped her on a pillow before retracting his wings. Lying down on his bed, Lucifer started plotting. Michael had tied the golden feather around his neck which meant that he planned to keep it on him at all times, how annoying. He could possibly swipe it next time Michael attempted to hug him. Since Lucifer rarely reciprocated the embrace, it might catch him off guard long enough to snatch the thing and burn it to cinders. Yes, that should work just fine, he always had a talent for conjuring fire. Lucifer would just have to look after her until then. The situation being temporary made the idea infinitely more bearable.

The girl abandoned the pillow and crawled towards him. He sighed, waiting silently for her to resume playing with his hair. She found it endlessly fascinating for some reason. Sure enough, her tiny fingers combed through his hair, and she started spouting happy gibberish. Lucifer closed his eyes, satisfied she was safe as long as he could feel her clawing fingers and hear her annoying chatter. Alas, this peace was interrupted when she yanked his hair. He assumed it was an accident until . . .

“Luci,” she shouted, yanking his hair again. He ignored her, giving in to her demands would only set a dangerous precedent.

“Luci,” she shouted even louder while yanking even harder. He kept his eyes shut, but couldn't stop a look of pain from crossing his face.

“Luci,” she said softly, releasing his hair, only to slap his cheeks repeatedly to get a reaction out of him. Okay, so, clearly, this wasn't working. He opened his eyes and frowned at her.

“Girl stop that,” he warned. Natalie obediently put her hands on her lap and smiled brightly at him. Lucifer sat up, and ran his fingers through his hair to fix it. He noticed she was wearing tiny sandals now. Michael must have ordered them for her while she was in his care. Of course, he did.

“What do you even want from me?” he asked. It's not like he'd done anything right so far. Natalie crawled into his lap and continued her useless prattle. He groaned and ran his hand over his face.

“You want me to listen to you. Don't you?” he said, not expecting a response. So, of course, he got one. Natalie nodded, grabbing hold of his free hand. She'd found a new plaything, joy.

“What did I do to deserve this?” he said, again not expecting a response to his misery.

She practically beamed up at him and replied, “You loved me. I remember.” Lucifer gaped at her, eyes wide in shock. He eyed her suspiciously. Perhaps, Father's gift was not what she appeared to be.

“Can you say anything else?” he asked. She grinned mischievously

“Luci,” she said, and with that, Lucifer decided it was a fluke.

Even so, he watched her more carefully for any signs of intelligence he might have missed the first time. Angels could shape shift after all. Maybe, this was all a big practical joke that would end when he proved she wasn't a stupid human child. When Natalie let go of his hand to chase after a shiny red sphere, he abandoned the idea. She definitely was a stupid human child.

Still, it was the most she'd said so far, and she hadn't repeated it obsessively like she had his name or at least her attempt at it anyway. Hmm, he should probably get her to pronounce it correctly before Michael decided he liked the the sound of this new nickname. He picked her up just as she reached her prize and stuck it in her mouth. He wrinkled his nose.

“Take that thing out of your mouth. It's disgusting. ” She took the slobbered on red sphere out of her mouth and attempted to give it to him.  

“No, I don't want it,” he said as she pressed it against his cheek, laughing. Lucifer instantly regretted willingly going anywhere near Natalie. Well, it's too late to avoid her disgusting fluids so he might as well try to make his suffering worth it.

“My name is Lucifer. Say Lu-ci-fer” he enunciated for emphasis. Natalie seemed to learn quickly so this shouldn't take too long.

She grinned and said, “Luci.” He scowled. She laughed, pressing the sphere against his cheek again. Losing patience, he snatched the infuriating little red ball and tossed it to the far side of the room. She yanked his hair again.

“Bad Luci,” she said. His blood grew hot. How dare this thing judge him? She was the irritating useless spawn making his life miserable. So, why did he desperately want her to take it back?

“Bad Luci,” she said again, pulling his hair some more when he didn't react fast enough. The words stabbed at his heart, and he didn't understand why. Lucifer wanted the feeling to stop.

“I'll get it, just don't leave me,” he said, scrambling for the little red ball. Only after he bent down to pick it up did he fully register what he said, Lucifer froze. Where had that come from? Lucifer wanted to get rid of this girl. So, why did he say that?

Natalie wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. “Sorry,” she mumbled. The ache in his chest ceased, but his headache had just begun, as if his body and soul were not of one mind. Perhaps, he'd go see his Father if he kept getting these strange feelings out of nowhere.

The girl fell asleep in his arms. He considered dumping her on the bed and enjoying the peace and quiet, but found, he couldn't bring himself to let her go. What was happening to him? Pacing back and forth, he kept himself occupied by rehearsing various musical compositions in his head, anything to get his mind off the girl. This worked fairly well until she began to stir some time later, emitting a low pitch whine. He hated that it instantly put him on high alert.

“What's wrong, Natalie?” Lucifer asked. She somehow decided this was permission to cry uncontrollably, the opposite of what he wanted.

“No, stop that,” Lucifer said, unsure what to do when that didn't work. Should he find Michael? He could imagine his smug reaction now. Couldn't handle her, could you, Luce?

Never mind, he'd figure it out.

“What do you want?” Lucifer yelled. This only made her cry harder.

Okay, that wasn't helping. He needed to calm down.

There was only one thing that could. Lucifer sang, hoping no one was around to hear him. Natalie quieted instantly. Good. When he finished, she complained and tugged at his shirt.

“Luci,” she said. He ignored her.

“That's not my name,” he said. She was silent for a moment, long enough that he thought she'd gone back to sleep, until he heard a tiny whisper.

“Please.” Even he couldn't say no to that, he sang another song. Still, it felt strange to sing to this little nothing in his arms. He usually only sang when his Father asked him to.

When he finished, she did not ask him for a third song. Natalie was awake but quiet, eyes still watery from her previous crying fit. Disturbed by her sudden intense emotion, he asked her a question, even though he didn't expect her to answer him in any satisfying way.

“Why did you cry?” Lucifer asked. He felt her tiny arms wrap even more tightly around his neck.  

“I remember bad things too,” Natalie said. The heartache returned, and tears fell down his face that didn't feel like his own. He definitely needed to speak to Father soon.

“Would you like to forget?” Lucifer asked softly. Only Raphael was allowed to practice healing of the mind, but he wasn't about to ask Raphael for a favor any time soon. He could help her on his own.

“No, not again,” Natalie said, looking up at him with deep woeful eyes. She looked older somehow. It unnerved him. A child shouldn't have to shoulder so much pain. She was just a dumb kid. He made up his mind.

“Close your eyes, and I'll sing you a song,” Lucifer offered. Natalie smiled and eagerly shut her eyes. As he sang, he walked over to his bed and sat her down on the soft mattress. She opened her eyes to see what he was doing.    
   
“Keep them closed,” Lucifer said, stopping his song to lightly scold her before sitting next to her. Satisfied he was still with her, she closed her eyes again.

Hands shaking, he took a deep breath in an attempt to steady them before placing them on top of her head. Natalie looked up at him as she felt his hands on her. He frowned, and she got the message without having to be told again, eyes closed once more.

“Picture the bad dream in your head,” he whispered. He could erase the memory without her actively thinking about it, but this would help him not make a mistake. She didn't open her eyes, but her tiny hands tried in vain to remove his own.

“Luci no,” Natalie begged.  

“Do you trust me, girl?” he asked. Her hands instantly fell to her sides and she let out a unsteady breath.  
     
“Yes,” she said.

Concentrating, his hands began to glow a myriad of colors. Lucifer could see in his minds eye the confused scattered images of a nightmare disappear from her consciousness, blurring away into nothing. Occasionally, he recognized individual images but there was no context to them: the ocean, his wings, death. He didn't care to know.

Job done, he removed his hands from her head and finished his song as promised.

Blinking slowly, she opened her eyes to look up at him. This time the gaze was vacant. She remained dazed in his arms for far too long. He became worried that maybe, he had done something wrong.

“Do you feel better?” he asked. She nodded, smiling happily.

“I just wish I could have kept the happy parts. They're missing now,” Natalie said. There was an alien guilt sitting in the pit of his stomach. He didn't understand any of it, but his soul certainly did.

“Then, let's start over and make new ones,” Lucifer said, again the words not quite his own. She fell asleep in his lap, and he spent an embarrassing amount of time watching her sleep. He didn't even move when her disgusting drool slowly crawled down his leg. Natalie was making him soft, and he couldn't bring himself to blame her for it.

As the sun rose, Michael walked in, exhausted but perfectly calm, trusting Lucifer to take care of her now. He couldn't help but feel disappointed in his weirdly sentimental state. She'd slept through most of the visit. He picked her up and handed her over. Lucifer needed time to speak to Father anyway.

“Time to wake up, sleepy head, it's morning,” Michael said, lifting her up in the air. Natalie shrieked in protest before blubbering wildly. Lucifer found himself annoyed. He'd spent the better part of the night calming her down.

“Why wake her now?” he asked. Michael easily stopped the tears, rocking her back and forth while patting her back. Lucifer watched, taking careful note of his brother's witchcraft.

“Humans sleep at night mostly. It helps them get bigger,” Michael said.

“Oh, so, when you send her to me-” Lucifer said, trailing off. He'd been given the easier job.

“She'll be sleeping most of the time so you don't have to worry so much,” Michael said.

“I don't care,” Lucifer said automatically.

“Whoops,” Michael said in Lucifer's usual sarcastic tone and dropped Natalie. She let out an inhuman scream. Lucifer caught her and instinctively backed away from his brother.

“Michael, what are you-” Lucifer started to say in a panic. He'd gone mad.

“Gotcha, you super duper care,” Michael said with a mischievous grin. The stupid idiot was testing him. What if he hadn't caught her? Natalie was a sobbing wreck in his arms.

“Don't do that again or I'll punch a hole in your stomach,” Lucifer hissed. Michael raised an eyebrow, not concerned in the slightest.  

“That's an oddly specific threat,” Michael said. Great, another thought that wasn't quite his own.

“I've been having oddly specific feelings. Have you?” Lucifer asked, curious.

“Nope but if you're feeling weird you should visit Raphael,” Michael suggested.

Ugh, anything but that, he looked down at Natalie who had a death grip around his neck. He was reluctant to give her back after the stunt Michael pulled.

“Is Father around? I have questions only he can answer,” Lucifer asked. Michael's expression completely changed from easy going to strangely anxious.

“About that, Father's gone missing,” Michael said, looking away as he rubbed his neck. Lucifer narrowed his eyes. His Father had conveniently disappeared right when he needed him most, typical.

“What? ” Lucifer said.

“Yeah, Dad didn't tell anyone where he was going, but he left you a note,” Michael said, about to hand him the letter. Lucifer snatched it from his hands, making sure to keep Natalie level with his other arm.

Lucifer looked over the note and found himself angry. He'd lived this before and Father didn't think that was worth mentioning in person. And the girl . . . You loved me. I remember. He crumpled the note in his hand. No way, it couldn't be true. 

Reluctantly, he unwrinkled the note and quickly scanned it again.

The feelings will fade with time. Don't think about the emotions overtaking you. They're a simple echo of a you that no longer exists. Focus on the present, son. I believe you will make the right choice this time. For that to happen, I cannot be there. You must accept humanity before I can return. I would just say the wrong things all over again if I stayed. Take care of the girl. She will redeem you. Remember, sacrifice is a gift, not a curse. It's the reason you're here.  

He felt his eyes water again without reason, a deep sadness overtaking him that ultimately gave way to anger. Humanity, as in more than one, his father had abandoned them because of this insignificant thing in his arms, with more on the way. He would never accept them and yet . . .

“You okay, Luce?” Michael asked after Lucifer had spent way too long staring at the crumpled letter in his hand, elegant script shining like gold.

“I'm fine,” Lucifer said, but he was anything but fine. Michael saw through the lie easily.

“I think you need some time alone. Let me take her,” Michael offered, hands outstretched, ready to take Natalie into his arms.

Natalie whimpered and continued to cling to him pitifully.  

“No,” Lucifer said. It didn't make any sense to keep her with him as his hate for humanity festered inside him, but he also wasn't about to give her up to a brother that had proven himself less reliable than he'd previously imagined. He'd made her cry twice in a span of a few minutes.

“Luce, I'm not going to drop her again. It was a joke,” Michael assured him.

“I don't think Natalie found it very funny. Let me ask her,” Lucifer said, turning to address Natalie.

“She's not going to be able to-” Michael said, clearly unaware of how quickly she was growing.

“Do you want to go with Michael, 'Gingersnap'?” he asked.

“No, bad Michael,” she said as his brother stood there floored, equally proud and horrified.

“Since when can you-” He wasn't in the mood to explain.

“Get out,” Lucifer said, eyes briefly flashing gold in warning.

Michael raised his hands in surrender, throwing an apologetic look at Natalie.

“I'll come by and check on you later, okay,” Michael promised.

The girl stuck her tongue out at him, before shouting, “Out.” This time Lucifer laughed in Michael's face.

Feelings hurt, his brother marched out and took flight without saying another word.

His victory was short lived. She was far more irritating and wild during the day: running everywhere, including out the door where she could easily fall to her death, screaming at the top of her lungs regardless of whether she wanted something or not while breaking things he didn't even know could break, cutting her tiny fingers in the process. He couldn't afford to take his eyes from her for even a second. Lucifer wasn't about to give her back though. If he asked for help, Michael would bring up this incident every time he wanted to win an argument from now to eternity. He'd sooner fall from Heaven then let that happen.

As he firmly held her wrist and healed the tiny cuts on her fingers, he glared at her. She looked down and avoided his gaze. He sighed and patted her on the head, before he said, “Have mercy, Kid and slow down. What do you and Michael even do all day?”

Natalie grinned and started babbling again, occasionally throwing a Michael in there to let him know that she was trying to answer his question. Lucifer frowned, unsure what had changed. Her communication skills were wildly inconsistent.

“Come on, Kid. I know you can talk, give me a real answer,” Lucifer said, wiping the blood off her fingers with a ripped piece of satin cloth from one of his various curtains. She struggled to say one word in particular and after a few attempts, Lucifer figured out what the word was and narrowed his eyes.

“Garden?” Lucifer said, practically spitting out the word. Natalie nodded, clapping her hands together happily. His blood grew hot as he jumped to several conclusions at once.

“Did he leave you alone in the Garden while he worked?” Lucifer asked evenly.

Natalie nodded but looked confused. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she looked up at him and asked, “Bad, Michael?”

“Yes, very bad, Michael,” Lucifer said, already considering another possibility.

“Did Gabriel take care of you?” he asked. The girl blinked a few times, puzzled.

“Another angel,” he clarified, roughly gesturing Gabriel's size with his hand.

“Luci?” she asked. Putting a hand to his face, he sighed again. This was getting Lucifer nowhere.

“Red hair, green eyes,” Lucifer said, trying again when Natalie cut him off excitedly.

“Me,” she said confidently.

“No, not you, was anyone else beside Michael with you in the garden?” he said, getting irritated.

It was taking all his energy to stop himself from yelling. She'd cried enough today.

Her eyes lit up, and she seemed to get what he was trying to ask.

“No,” she said. Satisfied, he decided it was best to move on.

“Did you get hurt?” Lucifer asked pointing to her previously bleeding fingers. 

Natalie shook her head, and he relaxed. Perhaps, the reason Michael let her roam free in the Garden was because it was relatively safe place after all.

“Here, here, and here,” Natalie said, pointing to her knees, elbows and left cheek.

At this point, he knew better than to try to ask for any more specifics than that, but Lucifer had some choice words ready for Michael when he saw him again. He tried not to think about the fact that even without trying Michael was better at this than him. What did he even care? He didn't want humans crawling all over the Earth anyway. If she fell into the ocean, it would literally solve all his problems.

“Luci,” she said, tugging at his robe.

“What?” he snapped at her. She shyly handed him his feather, still dangling from what remained of the string. He accepted the offering, again wondering at her excellent thieving skills. Lucifer hadn't had a chance to teach her that, not in this lifetime anyway.

“I don't hate you,” Lucifer admitted to himself, setting the feather on fire with a flick of the wrist. Natalie watched him in awe and squealed in delight. She wanted an encore.    

“You can stay but only you” he decided finally. If any other humans showed up, Lucifer would make it his business to sabotage them. He picked her up, securing her in one arm while summoning fire with his other hand. She reached for it like an idiot and nearly burned herself.

“Girl stop,” he said, extinguishing the fire quickly. Natalie whined but he refused to risk burning her a second time. If nothing else, he'd keep her safe, no matter how much she complained about it.

As if on cue, she started to wail. Copying his brother, he rocked her and patted her back, even making the silly shushing noise. She instantly calmed. Lucifer smirked. He could take care of her himself, no problem.


	3. The Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Earth is a lot more appealing up close and Natalie is a danger magnet.

###  **The Garden**

“What's wrong?” Lucifer asked as Natalie's stomach continued to growl incessantly. He hadn't run into this particular problem before. The girl babbled some sort of response, occasionally referring to his brother Michael. Great, it had only been a few hours and already he might have to go running to his brother for help. Maybe, he could ignore the problem, and it would go away.

Her stomach growled again. Getting frustrated, he asked her why a second time but was only met with more gibberish he didn't understand. This left him with two options, confront his brother and ask him or willingly return to the medical temple and visit Raphael. He didn't like either option, but at the moment, he was far more angry at Michael than Raphael. Lucifer made up his mind and picked up Natalie, quickly walking out the door. Immediately, she spoke in rushed incoherent sounds, brimming with curiosity. Lucifer had yet to take her anywhere outside his immediate residence.

“We're going to visit a healer,” Lucifer said, taking out his wings. Distracted by the sight of them, she babbled excitedly as they flew away. The sound did wonders for his frayed nerves.

The temple wasn't far from his home, and they arrived in a matter of moments. She let out a small disappointed cry when he put away his wings. He shushed her and entered the temple, cornering one of the medic angels. Natalie whimpered, unnerved by the angel's alien mask and off putting eye symbols. Lucifer shushed her again. She should be grateful that she would never see what was underneath.        

“Where is Raphael?” Lucifer asked. As always, the medic angel said nothing, instead pointing to a nearby room. He nodded and walked into the room without knocking.

Raphael was alone, clearly on break, drawing in one of his many sketch pads. Lucifer raised an eyebrow as he caught sight of a very tasteful nude of Uriel. Embarrassed, Raphael flipped to a blank page. Lucifer didn't comment on the subject matter of said drawing, instead plopping Natalie onto the exam table.

“Fix her,” he said simply. At this, Raphael recovered and grew concerned, looking her over for any obvious cuts or bruises. When he found none, he turned to Lucifer.

“Why exactly did you bring her here?” he asked.

“Her stomach keeps growling,” Lucifer said in a dead serious tone. Raphael laughed but stopped himself when Lucifer's face soured.  

“Did Michael not explain that she needs to eat food?” Raphael asked, retrieving a small basket full of colorful foreign objects. He started peeling off the hard shell a large orange sphere, revealing the easy to pull juicy bits.

“Michael has been taking her during the day. He must have forgotten to mention it,” Lucifer explained.

Raphael frowned, giving Natalie a small slice of the odd fruit. She immediately shoved it in her mouth and made grabby hands for more.

“He must be exhausted. From what Gabriel has told me, Michael has been working on the Garden, day and night,” Raphael said. Lucifer rolled his eyes. His brother would do that to himself to keep him happy.

“So, what's wrong with her?” Lucifer asked.

“Nothing, she's just hungry. Give her some fruit from the garden next time. Michael should have some if you would rather not visit,” Raphael said, handing him the basket of fruit. There was a small note attached to it that he'd neglected to remove. It had been a gift from Gabriel.

“Thank you,” Lucifer said, hating him a little less today. He still refused to look him in the eye.

Satisfied the problem was taken care of, he went to pick up Natalie, only to find her playing with Raphael's sketchbook, flipping through a variety of pages. Raphael stood frozen in shock, and Lucifer expected him to snatch it away and yell at her as he would have. Instead, Raphael walked away, rummaging through some drawers until he found something. He returned with a smaller sketchbook and a variety of colors for her.

“Would you like to trade?” Raphael asked her, holding up his bribe. Natalie smiled, happily spouting gibberish at Raphael before politely returning the sketchbook. She seemed genuinely surprised when Raphael gave her the new sketchbook and colors.  

“We'll be going now,” Lucifer said, not about to say thank you a second time.

“Wait,” Raphael said. Lucifer stopped and sighed, expecting some cryptic ominous warning.

“Did he tell you about her potty training situation?” Raphael asked. Lucifer paled as he registered what he was referring to.      

“What?” he said. Raphael went on to explain in great detail why this was necessary and what to do if the situation came up while she was in Heaven and not in Eden. Lucifer nodded dumbly, decided it might be time to make up with Michael. He left before Raphael had time to explain the concept of bath time. If it was anything like what they just discussed, he didn't want to hear it.

Before he made the difficult trip through the dense, maze-like garden to find his brother, Lucifer barged into Michael's home on the off chance he'd find him there. Previously lazing about, Michael stood up from his bed, surprised to see him so soon.

“Hey Luce, what's up-” Michael started to say before Natalie was rudely shoved into his arms, along with a basket of fruit and her recently acquired art supplies. He wasn't about to carry all that back with him.

“Here, I changed my mind. You can have her, ” Lucifer said, running his fingers through his hair, still refusing to look his brother in the eye. Confused, Michael busied himself consoling Natalie who had begun protesting loudly. Lucifer shot her a look and she shut up instantly. Good.

“Okay, would you like me to drop her off tonight?” he asked, either not taking the hint that he wanted nothing more to do with her or at the very least expecting that he would change his mind fairly soon. Lucifer thought about it for a moment. He'd rather go back to their previous arrangement, and never hear anything about the digestive system or the gross substances it produced ever again.

“Make sure you do away with any excess waste before you bring her back,” he muttered.

At first, he didn't seem to get what he was referring to, and Lucifer dreaded having to elaborate, but as it dawned on him, his brother's stupid grin grew to unhealthy levels.

“What was that Luce? I didn't quite hear you,” Michael said, stifling a laugh.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes and glared. He was in no mood.

“You heard me,” he said icily.

The smile fell off his stupid face.

“Sure, no problem, she's actually old enough to-” Michael started to explain, but Lucifer refused to sit through another lecture on human bodily fluids.

“Stop talking,” he hissed. Michael wisely backed off and turned his attention to Natalie.

Mortified, Lucifer decided to quietly exit the room and pray that this particularly revolting topic was never brought up again in his presence.

“You ready to go back to the garden, Gingersnap?” Michael cooed, picking up an oblivious Natalie who giggled happily. Lucifer stopped in his tracks and against his better judgment, turned around. Never mind the fact that he'd basically dumped the brat a few seconds ago, this was important.

“Are you seriously leaving her alone again after I just gave her back to you? ” Lucifer said as if he'd just done Michael a favor. The irony was not lost on Michael who flashed him a knowing smile.  

“What are you talking about? I’m working in the garden, all day every day. ” Michael said, playing innocent or maybe he was just as oblivious as the little twerp in his arms.

“You left her unsupervised and she got hurt” Lucifer said, cutting to the chase.  

“Yeah, she runs off sometimes, but I always find her, eventually, ” Michael said with a shrug, completely unconcerned to the point that he denied nothing and showed no remorse for his inaction. Fire burned through Lucifer in ways he did not comprehend. You self entitled prick-

“Now you're telling me, not only did you let her get hurt but you lost her multiple times, ” Lucifer said evenly, fighting the foreign rage that threatened to spill out.

“Don't look at me like that. I'm not a monster,” Michael said, recognizing the festering resentment building to a frenzy.

The fire inside him vanished in an instant as if he'd been submerged ice water and left to freeze, and he found himself overwhelmed by feelings he couldn't even name.

“That's not what I meant. I just don't think it's safe,” Lucifer said, less confident in his conviction. Were his feelings even real? Or just an echo of a life he couldn't remember?

“Lucifer, I understand why you feel that way, kind of, but it’s important that she have new experiences. You can’t protect her from everything, ” Michael argued.

Something in Lucifer snapped and he forced Natalie out of Michael's grip. She yelped in protest as he handled her more roughly than he meant to. Warm glowing hands expertly caressed her as Lucifer murmured an apology. He never did things quite right.

“Yes, I can, ” Lucifer said bitterly as a dull ache on his back returned, a phantom pain that felt eternal and sacred, a heavy burden that he'd never erase.

“ Please don't try. It's not realistic. She needs to learn to cope with stressful situations on her own, ” Michael said.

“She’s only existed for three days, barely a newborn, and you want her to fend for herself. How is that realistic, Michael?” Lucifer asked. He wasn't the one being unreasonable, and his brother would not convince him otherwise. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Relax, I gave her a whistle so she can call me when she’s in trouble ” Michael said, retrieving said whistle from around Natalie's neck.

“You're unbelievable,” Lucifer said. He couldn’t possibly think this was a good idea. She’d be dead before she even thought to blow the stupid whistle.            

“Thank you,” Michael said brightly, missing the point entirely.

“It's not a compliment,” Lucifer said.

“Look, come to the garden. You'll see it’s not that dangerous. I need to check on Gabe anyway,” Michael said, offering to take Natalie. With what he was feeling right now, he couldn't let her go even if he wanted to.

“Fine,” Lucifer said, walking right past him. He hadn’t had a chance visit the garden yet, and if it was dangerous, better to experience why first hand to argue his point later.

Earth was a lot more impressive up close, what he had once considered nothing more than a far away blue and green marble was now brimming with life of all shapes and sizes with giant trees so large their limbs stretched far into the sky and blocked the sun and flora and fauna so vibrant and unique that they rivaled the ethereal beauty of Heaven. Completely awestruck, Lucifer was having trouble remaining indignant. Perhaps, this had been his brother's plan all along.  

“So Luce, what do you think?” Michael asked, knowing full well how completely spellbound he was with the garden at this point.

“It's alright,” Lucifer said, trying too hard not to sound impressed. His ploy didn't work.

Michael laughed and wrapped his arm around Lucifer's shoulder. He bent down and whispered, “Once in a while, it's okay to admit you like something.” Lucifer grimaced but nodded, struggling to keep hold of Natalie as she became increasingly excited by everything surrounding them.

“Hasn't she been here before? Why is she so worked up?” Lucifer complained. Michael whistled innocently.

“Technically all of Earth is the garden. Nat hasn't been to this section of it, and normally, I would have let her go explore by now,” Michael said with a smirk.

“But you've got quite the death grip on her, and she's getting antsy,” he said, placing the damn whistle onto Natalie's neck again.

“Of course, it's up to you whether you let her go or not,” Michael said, having already set the trap, but Lucifer was a lot more stubborn than his brother was giving him credit for.

“Girl stop,” Lucifer ordered. Natalie was far too stimulated for that to work. She complained loudly and continued to struggle against him.

“Natalie please,” Lucifer said, getting exasperated. She bit him.

“You little-” Michael cut him off before he had a chance to say something he'd regret.

“Stop being such a killjoy and let her have fun, Luce. Gabe and I will be nearby, and you can watch her if you're that worried,” Michael said.

Looking down, he was met with Natalie's large pleading eyes and pouting lips, a stark contrast to the little savage he'd witnessed seconds ago. He sighed as he came to the slow realization that he wasn't going to win this one.

“Is there anything dangerous here I should know about?” Lucifer asked. His brother hesitated.

“There wasn't yesterday, but we've started introducing predatory species to this location. And . . . ” Michael trailed off.

“What?” Lucifer said, narrowing his eyes. He knew this place wasn't safe.

“She seems to really likes snakes and some of the ones we've introduced today are poisonous,” Michael said sheepishly.

“Really Michael? What were you thinking?” Lucifer asked.

“Hey, you can't have have a stable ecosystem without predators. Besides, most snakes in the area aren't poisonous,” Michael said which would normally have been enough to satisfy Lucifer, but Michael was too easy to read, and the look on his face said that wasn't the end of the story.

“There's more you aren't telling me isn't there?” Lucifer asked.

“If you aren't careful, they'll easily crush her to death. So, I wouldn't let her play with them,” Michael said. This revelation ruined any chance of Lucifer ever giving Michael the benefit of the doubt ever again.

“And you think it's safe to leave her alone for long periods of time, why?” Lucifer asked.

“Luce, no, I don't dump her in the forest and start working. Stop thinking the worst of me,” Michael said, raising his hands up in surrender.

“You don't exactly inspire confidence when you go out of your way to convince me that it's perfectly fine to let her wander off on her own and then, reveal that there are things that she likes to play with that can eat her,” Lucifer said. For once, his anger was his own. Michael was being ridiculous. Obviously, his brother was too preoccupied with work to properly take care of her.

“Just to be clear, she's usually with me, like maybe two feet away, but I'm not going to freak out if she accidentally leaves my sight for a few minutes like you would,” Michael said, getting defensive.

“I wouldn't freak out,” Lucifer said, aware he was lying. He'd seen first hand she'd find trouble the minute she was out of his sight.

“Prove it, release her, unless you want to admit you're wrong, little brother,” Michael said, knowing perfectly well that Lucifer would never back down from a challenge.

“Fine, there, I put her down. Happy?” Lucifer asked.

“Not, yet, let her wander off for a few minutes, and you'll see it's not big deal,” Michael said, pushing his luck. Lucifer grabbed Natalie's hand before she had a chance to take off. She threw a fit, screaming at the top of her lungs as she tried in vain to free her arm from his grasp. He ignored her.

“No, I'm not doing that” Lucifer said, before shushing her and giving her a look. As always, she instantly stopped what she was doing and settled down. Giving up, she sat down on the ground and started playing with the dirt, moping the entire time.

“Then, I win. You're too much of a control freak to let her grow up. Good thing, I'm here to balance the scales,” Michael said smugly. Lucifer hated that he might have a point.

“Shut up, Michael. The only reason I'm not letting her go is because you made this place into a death trap,” Lucifer said. Michael looked around, gesturing to the harmless insects, ferns, and fungi in their immediate area.

“So, what you're saying is you're freaking out even though absolutely nothing's happened,” Michael said. Getting red, Lucifer sputtered. He was making him look bad.

“I'm not freaking out. I've somehow become the responsible one, out of the two of us. Never thought it would happen, but here we are, brother,” Lucifer said.  Michael rolled his eyes again.

“Fine, whatever, I have to go meet Gabriel,” Michael said, walking away, effectively getting the last word. Lucifer let his rebuttal die in his throat. What was he afraid of?

“Luci look,” Natalie said, showing him a long thin creature with thick black, yellow, and red bands across its body wrapped around her hand like an accessory. He assumed this was what one would call a snake. Considering its small size, the thing likely relied on venom to kill its prey. Calmly, he bent down and unwrapped the thing from her hand, making sure to secure the head first to avoid a nasty bite.

As he held it in its hand, the creature did not try to attack him and was far more focused on escape. The girl wasn't crying or scared so he assumed she hadn't been bit. She'd been lucky that she hadn't held it long enough to piss it off. Natalie had likely been attracted by the bright colors. He stroked the scaly creature thoughtfully. How to handle this?

“Natalie, this thing can kill you. Don't pick it up by yourself okay? I can hold it for you if you want to play with it,” Lucifer offered.

“Okay, but it won't hurt me,” Natalie said confidently. Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you think that?” he asked. She giggled secretively and didn't answer. He shook his head and decided against asking again. Lucifer set the snake free a fair distance away, only for the creature to crawl right back to Natalie when she called for it.

“How?” Lucifer said, grabbing the snake before it had a chance to entangle itself onto his charge again. Curious, he placed the snake a few feet away and signaled Natalie to be quiet. The snake still gravitated towards Natalie for some unknown reason so it wasn't anything she was doing necessarily.

“Go away,” Lucifer said firmly, tossing the snake into some nearby bushes. The snake did not return. He hoped this did not turn into a regular occurrence. When he turned around, Natalie was still sitting patiently on the ground, playing with some dirt. He sighed, feeling something akin to guilt.

“Since trouble seems to find you anyway, I guess we can explore for a little while, just stick with me kid, or it's back to your dirt pile,” Lucifer said, offering his hand. She took it eagerly, dragging him in a random direction.  

The trip was thankfully uneventful. Mostly she pointed at every new thing in sight, determined to share the experience with him. Admittedly, more often than not, he found himself interested in the odd creatures she showed him. Then, she stumbled across another questionably unsafe specimen.

“Luci look, a froggy” Natalie said, pointing to a small golden creature on the forest floor minding its own business. Weary of brightly colored animals, Lucifer grabbed the thing before Natalie had a chance to go after it. Instantly, he felt his skin burn and tossed the creature as he registered the poison entering his system.

“Bad Luci, ” Natalie shouted. He nodded, noncommittally. The thing had taken cover under some plants already.  

“Don't touch anything unless I tell you it's okay,” Lucifer said, waiting for the stinging sensation to end. It was taking longer to heal than normal. If the girl had touched it . . . He decided to look for a water source to wash it off to avoid contaminating her.

Picking her up, he took out his wings. His brother had mentioned there was a river nearby. As they flew towards the tree tops, she grew increasingly bubbly and hard to handle, especially with one hand.  

“Birdies just like you,” Natalie shouted excitedly. Lucifer turned to look, curious what she was on about. Only to see a primarily red bird with blue and yellow wings, he was not impressed.

“I don't see the resemblance,” Lucifer said.

“Pretty,” Natalie said, giggling. He scoffed, mildly offended.

“I'm not pretty,” Lucifer said. Much like the term foxy, they had decided as a group that the word made more sense when applied to angels like Zadkiel, Chamuel or Sheila with more feminine characteristics. Natalie seemed to disagree.

“Prettier than Michael,” Natalie insisted. He wasn't sure what to say to that.

“Fine, whatever, just don't say that kind of thing in front of the other angels,” Lucifer said. She nodded and pecked him on the cheek. He glared at her, but it seemingly had no effect as she dared to kiss him on the cheek a second time. He blamed Michael for being overly affectionate with her. She was picking up bad habits.

Leaving the treetops, they traveled past a multitude of trees before he spotted a long winding river and flew down. He reluctantly let her go and washed his hands in the river. The water did nothing to relieve the stinging sensation that seemed to linger in his system. At least, he could convince himself that it was safe to hold her now. When he turned around to retrieve Natalie, he found her sitting by the river bank without a care in a damn world. A gigantic snake wrapped around her torso. The kind Michael had helpfully mentioned could suffocate her to death.

“I can't leave you alone for two minutes,” he grumbled, forcefully shoving the snake off her.

“Scram,” he said, taken aback, when the snake willingly slithered away in the direction he pointed. Natalie clapped as if he'd done that on purpose.

The rest of the day was not as fraught with peril. Lucifer spent some time finding fruit for her to eat when she got hungry. He would usually taste it first to make sure that he didn't accidentally feed her anything poisonous, enjoying the sweet mildly acidic taste of a couple of the fruits he stumbled across, particularly mangoes. The girl had no sense of self preservation unfortunately, and the peace didn't last.

“Kitty,” she shouted, running straight towards a large spotted beast that had been stalking them from afar for quite some time. He caught her before she got too close.    

“Stop liking dangerous things,” Lucifer complained, picking her up and heading the opposite direction but not before shooting the jaguar a look. Eyes glowing in warning. The jungle cat backed off finally recognizing him as a threat.  

Natalie laughed and said, “No,” bopping him on the nose. He growled at her and she just growled back and bopped him on the nose again. He sighed and gave up. At least, she wasn't dead.  

“So Luce, you've had a chance to look around. What's your verdict? Safe enough for you to stop fretting or am I still in trouble?” Michael asked, finding him sitting against a tree with Natalie drooling on his lap, fast asleep.

Lucifer did not answer right away. They'd faced quite a few close calls today. Everything on Earth was radically different than anything in Heaven, designed to compete and struggle for survival. He glanced at Natalie and frowned. One day, this frail squishy creature would be expected to live among the poisonous, carnivorous, and lightning fast all by herself.

“I'll care for her while you work in the Garden,” he said finally.

“Are you sure? You're not going to be able to avoid the not so fun stuff if you do that,” Michael reminded him. He shuddered.

“I'll stick close to where you're working so I can pawn her off on you when that happens,” Lucifer decided. Michael scowled at him.

“How thoughtful of you,” Michael said, for once, able to produce an appropriate level of sarcasm. Lucifer was always better at it though.

“You're welcome.”

 


	4. Angel of Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zadkiel pays them a visit and Natalie is still a horrible judge of character.

###  **Angel of Mercy**

 

As much as Lucifer loved the massive impenetrable rainforest, it was not an ideal place to take care of a child. For one thing, almost everything Natalie found colorful and attractive was poisonous. More importantly, she was under the constant threat of predators because of her small stature and inability to defend herself without him. The fact that she loved the things that kept trying to eat her wasn't helping matters either.

Even under his watchful eye, Natalie had a habit of wandering off and getting lost, leaving him in a constant state of paranoia. Lucifer was determined to change things when they moved on to another section of the Garden. After pestering his brother relentlessly, Michael granted his request and sectioned off a part of the Garden for her to explore without the inherent dangers present elsewhere in the area.

This particular section of the Garden was steeped in flowers of all kinds. Lucifer liked flowers. Most of them were harmless while being equally bright and attractive. A quality that he’d learned to appreciate the longer he stayed with Natalie. Michael had given him a list of flowers in the area, partly to reassure him that he didn't have anything to worry about and to subtly ask him to keep track of how they were fairing.

When Natalie brought him a flower, he would tell her the name, and she would learn it immediately. At first, he’d been impressed, but the more he thought about it,  the more it became increasingly obvious that she was mispronouncing his name on purpose.

“I call bullshit on you being able to say chrysanthemums but not Lucifer,” he said sourly. This was his own fault for tolerating it for so long.

Natalie gave him a mischievous smile and said, “Bullshit.”

Crap, of course, she'd pick that up right away. Doing his best to keep a straight face, he considered his options. Okay, Lucifer, don't make a big deal about the stupid word or she'll keep using it to spite you. Lucifer was sure that was the real reason she kept running off on him. She only ever did that after he'd ignored her for a particularly long time or if he'd yelled at her for doing something dangerous.

“If Michael asks, I didn't teach you that,” Lucifer said. Tilting her head to the side, she gave him a curious look. This was the first time he'd asked her to lie.

“Why?” she asked, using the most annoying word she'd learned so far.

“He doesn't like that word,” Lucifer explained.

Before she would have accepted that and did what she was told, unfortunately, the more she learned the more she questioned him and his previously absolute authority over her and what she did.

“Why?” Natalie continued. He could tell by her grin that she was messing with him.

“It's a bad word,” Lucifer grumbled reluctantly, unwilling to explain the concept of cow manure right now.

“Then, why did you say it?” she asked.

He'd found the word funny at the time, not so much now. If Michael found out, he'd skin him alive. His brother was rarely angry with him, but when he was, it never ended well.

“How about you drop it or I'll feed you to the medic angels,” Lucifer said, making a move to snatch her.

Natalie dodged and proceeded to run around like a maniac while screaming at the top of her lungs through a field of pastel purple flowers. As grating as the sound was, he didn't have the heart to shut her up. This place was hers. He was just along for the ride. That didn't mean he wasn't going to scare the sass out of her.

“Come here, you little brat,” he shouted, chasing after her.

She giggled, not taking him seriously in the slightest. He went easy on her, letting the game last longer than it otherwise would have. She would occasionally look back to see if he was still following her. He would make a show of running even faster in these instances, making her panic and scramble to get away before she got caught.

Getting bored of the chase, he was about to grab her and end it when Zadkiel flew down in front of them. Natalie stopped in her tracks as her path was blocked by his mighty merciless sister. Instinctively, he picked her up, annoyed when the girl kept staring at her in awe. She wasn't that great.

“So, this one’s yours. She's a cutie, ” Zadkiel said, daring to grab a few strands of Natalie's hair and rub it between her fingers as if she were admiring a particularly fine piece of cloth.

“This one?” Lucifer said, catching what she was implying. Zadkiel gave him a playful smile.

“Father plans to make more right? I’m sure he would have already except-” Zadkiel trailed off.

“What? ” Lucifer growled.

“You don't like them, and he’s handling you with kid gloves for some reason, ” Zadkiel said, puffing her cheeks.

“Why do you care? ” Lucifer asked. His sister was a warrior. Her sudden interest in child care was disquieting to say the least.

“Father has been acting strange as of late. Rumor has it that he left because of you. Are the rumors true?” Zadkiel asked, watching for any weakness as she’d been trained to do. She smiled pleasantly when he flinched.

“Buzz off, Zadkiel. I’m not going to tell you anything, ” Lucifer said, flashing his teeth at her. Whatever she was up to, it couldn't be good, hanging out with Zadkiel was only fun if you weren't the target.

“Buzz off?”  Zadkiel asked, for once looking uncertain.

“I want you to go away, like the annoying insects that keep buzzing around my face,” Lucifer explained.

Zadkiel laughed, covering her mouth as if he’d told her a particularly juicy piece of gossip.

“Oh my, you really like earth. Don't you?” she asked knowingly.

Lucifer stiffened, unsure what to make of the comment. Why did everyone keep telling him that?

“What makes you say that?” he asked.

“You're here all the time now to the point where we haven't seen you in weeks. It's even affecting the way you speak, ” Zadkiel said.

Nothing she said was untrue, and yet he still felt the need to justify himself.

“You’ve got me all wrong. I’m just stuck here because of this brat, ” Lucifer said, holding her up for emphasis.

Natalie let out a high pitched whine, having become aware over time that brat was not a term of endearment. Zadkiel chuckled as her eyes glowed in obvious mirth. And yet, the look still came across as predatory.

“If that's the case, I can take her off your hands if you'd like,” Zadkiel said, removing the dried flowers from Natalie’s tangled hair with tender care. The kind he was rarely capable of showing.

Lucifer didn't say no right away, despite the sudden angry paranoia surging through him. He would not let his warring soul make his decisions for him.

“May I?” Zadkiel asked, placing her hands around Natalie’s waist, waiting for Lucifer to let go. He tightened his grip on her as she began to squirm, ready and willing to launch herself into his sister's arms. She'd always been a horrible judge of character.

“Just for a little while,” Lucifer said, reluctantly releasing Natalie. It wouldn't hurt to have an idea of Zadkiel’s child rearing skills if he ever did decide to get rid of her.

Zadkiel effortlessly carried Natalie without a hint of discomfort or uncertainty, using her left hip as leverage as she secured her by the waist with only one arm. She was annoyingly good at this.

“You poor thing, your hair is an absolute mess. Is that a dead bug? Ew. I suppose the boys wouldn't know how fix it,” Zadkiel said, combing her fingers through Natalie's hair, carefully untangling it with far more patience than he'd ever have managed for the stupid repetitive task.

Lucifer gnashed his teeth and said nothing, unsure why Zadkiel's jibes actually managed to pierce through his tough exterior for once. He didn't care what Zad thought of him. So what if he didn't think to fix Natalie's stupid hair? She was alive wasn't she? Why did he suddenly feel so utterly inadequate?

He watched as Zadkiel set her down, murmuring for Natalie to hold still a moment for a surprise. The girl eagerly did as she was told, even closing her eyes. Zadkiel separated Natalie's hair into three sections and began to twist them together into a braid. When she finished, Zadkiel gathered pink peony flowers and expertly weaved them into a flower crown for her, placing it on top of her head. Easily pleased, Natalie let out a happy squeal, running to show him her new toy. Still bitter, he did his best to muster some enthusiasm.

“You look great, kid,” Lucifer said, resisting the urge to take the flower crown and chuck it into the stream. Michael had been nagging him to be more supportive so he'd hold his tongue for now.

“Make one for Luci,” Natalie suggested, clapping her hands excitedly. He instantly regretted showing any interest in the stupid flower crown.  

“I have a better idea. How about I show 'Luci' how to make them?” Zadkiel asked, using air quotes around his unfortunate nickname.

“Yes, let's make Luci look pretty,” Natalie said, before covering her mouth as she accidentally broke her promise. Zadkiel laughed, gently removing Natalie's hands from her mouth and stroking her hair in an effort to calm her.  

“I suppose 'Luci' is quite the pretty bird, huh?” Zadkiel asked, looking at him smugly, perfectly aware that their little chit chat would have devolved into a brawl by now without the girl to hold him back. Even so, he only had so much patience.

“That's it. Leave before I make you,” Lucifer said, purposely placing himself between her and Natalie. Eyes flashing dangerously. For most angels that wouldn't have been enough to scare them off, but Zadkiel would not be so easily intimidated. There was a reason she was put in charge of the deadliest missions.

“If you insist, I guess I'll just come down here next time she wants one,” Zadkiel said with a shrug, making a move to get up. Natalie grabbed her hand.

“No, don't go,” Natalie whined, dramatically falling to the ground. Zadkiel's eyes widened, caught off guard, before covering her confusion with a melodic laugh.

“Look at that, I guess she doesn't want me to go,” Zadkiel said, sitting back down.

Lucifer shot Natalie a look. She just grinned sheepishly, not sorry in the slightest.

“Fine, show me how to do it,” he grumbled, aware he was playing right into her hands. Even so, he refused to give her an opening to return. Zadkiel had to have an ulterior motive for dropping by. She'd shown far too much interest in the girl for him to tolerate her presence any longer than he had to.  

The process was simple enough, all you really had to do was pick out some flowers with flexible stems and cut or trim away the unnecessary parts and braid them together. Zadkiel also used a fair bit of magic to keep the crown from falling apart in places but the same could be accomplished with bits of metal or string. He'd ask around and acquire some, if only so he'd be prepared when Natalie inevitably wanted to make her own down the line. When Zadkiel finished, she gently placed the crown on his head.

“There, now he's perfect,” Zadkiel said, smirking at him as she patted his cheek, taking full advantage of the fact that he was all bark and no bite when the girl was involved.  

“We're pretty,” Natalie said, jumping into his arms before he had a chance to come up with an appropriately sarcastic response.

As he looked her over, he had to admit that Zadkiel's simple tricks had worked wonders. Perhaps, he could put a bit more effort into making her presentable. Her long thin hair wasn't optimized for living in the wild like this.

“You always look pretty,” Lucifer assured her, kissing her forehead. Natalie beamed at him, immediately pecking him on the cheek in return.

“How sweet, who knew you were capable of actually showing affection?” Zadkiel asked, twirling a stolen flower between her fingers as she watched him, a smug smile on her lips. Lucifer scowled, more than ready to kick her out of the Garden.

“ Get out of here,” Lucifer said in what he thought was a fairly intimidating tone. She laughed and made herself comfortable, daring to leave herself exposed as she lay peacefully in the grass.

“I will in a moment. Do you mind if I ask the girl a few questions?” Zadkiel asked, playing nice. He sighed, not seeing the harm in it. There wasn't much else the girl could do to embarrass him at this point.

“Go ahead,” Lucifer said, letting the girl run over to Zad.  

“What's your favorite color?” she asked. He raised an eyebrow. It's not the kind of question he'd been expecting her to ask. She paid him no mind, studying the girl closely.

“Orange,” Natalie said without a second thought. He wouldn't have guessed that from the few weeks he'd spent with her. Considering the way she fawned over his wings, he found himself disappointed.

Lucifer would have almost preferred for her to have said blue. That was Michael's signature color. And despite his tendency to neglect her for long periods of time, he was caring and thoughtful in ways that Lucifer never would be. Instead, somewhere along the way she had developed a fondness for the color orange and he'd missed it.

Then again, he could be reading too much into her response. If he asked her again in a few hours, she'd probably name half a dozen other colors instead.    

“What about your favorite food?” Zadkiel asked casually, gesturing for her to lay down beside her. Natalie flung herself onto the ground, lying flat on her stomach and kicking her feet in the air gleefully.

“Mangoes,” Natalie said. That made sense, she always asked for mangoes when he went to gather food. He'd be sure to keep bringing her mangoes, even if he had to go out of his way to get them.    

“Hmm, interesting,” Zadkiel said, glancing at Lucifer for some reason.

“Not really,” he said, feigning disinterest,  all while making careful note of her answers like the hypocrite he was.

“What do you like to do for fun?” Zadkiel asked.

“Play with Luci, sing, draw, you know fun stuff,” Natalie said. He'd never seen her draw anything, but then, he remembered he'd left her drawing supplies with Michael. Lucifer would retrieve them for her when he had the chance.

“Now, tell me. Why do you like Luci here? Between you and me, he's kind of mean,” Zadkiel asked. Lucifer rolled his eyes as her motives became clearer. She was just looking for another way to get under his skin.

“Luci's not mean. He loves me more than anything,” Natalie said with startling confidence. Overall, their interactions had been a mixed blessing at best.

“Oh really? What makes you say that?” Zadkiel asked. He found himself leaning forward subtly in anticipation of her answer. Why did this little human think so highly of him?

“I just know,” Natalie said with a shrug. He was unsatisfied with her answer and decided to provoke her a little, if only to tease her a bit.  

“What if I just gave you to Zadkiel? Would you still think I love you?” he asked.

“You won't,” Natalie said, smiling secretively as if she knew him better than he knew himself. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. She was way too cocky. He made the decision on impulse.

“Zad, you can have her,” Lucifer said, turning around and walking away. He ignored the way his soul burned in protest. Lucifer wouldn't go through with the exchange so his stupid soul could suck it up and stop interfering.  

“Great, we'll start by giving you a bath. You're filthy,” Zadkiel said, scooping her up.

As reality hit her, Natalie panicked, practically screaming her head off as she struggled to get out of Zadkiel's grip. His sister was far too competent to actually let her escape. He could easily fly away and never have to see her again. Part of him wanted to free himself of the suffocating responsibility of caring for her, he wasn't good at it anyway. She'd be better off with Zadkiel.

“Lucifer please,” Natalie said. He stopped in his tracks. Heart beating savagely.

“What did you just call me?” Lucifer said, still not quite believing what he was hearing. After all this time, it was dirty trick to pull. He hated that he was falling for it.

“Lucifer,” Natalie said. He turned around and instantly regretted making eye contact as he found himself staring into her big watery eyes. She desperately reached out for him, and he found himself sprinting to catch up as they headed toward the nearby pond.

“Wait, I changed my mind. I want to keep her,” Lucifer said, grabbing Zadkiel's shoulder. Any other time, she might have broken his arm for daring to touch her, but she humored him and returned Natalie without any prompting. Natalie clung to him, trembling all over as she let loose tiny broken sobs.

“What a shame and here I thought you'd give her up without a second thought. You really are a softie after all,” Zadkiel said, an egotistical smirk on her lips.

“Just get out of here,” Lucifer muttered, far too preoccupied trying to console Natalie to take the insult personally. Perfectly accommodating now that she had nothing to gain, she called forth her wings and spared him one last glance.

“Very well, I'd still give her a quick rinse if I were you. Dirt sticks to humans,” Zadkiel said. Before he had a chance to ask how she could possibly know that, she took off, leaving him with a sinking feeling. He needed to act quickly.

“I'm leaving you with Michael for a little while. I'll come back for you later,” Lucifer said, willfully ignoring her distracting sobbing. Michael would be better at comforting her anyway.

“No” Natalie shouted, practically clawing at his neck to stay close to him. No longer confident he would come back for her. He only had himself to blame, and yet, he couldn't stop the frustration from seeping into his voice.

“What do you mean no? I'm in charge, and I'm leaving you with Michael. That's final,” Lucifer said, prying her loose. She was just a child. He was stronger and smarter in every way, and he would not let this girl control his life.

“No,” Natalie yelled, still blubbering pathetically. He felt his resolve weaken, but with everything at stake, he didn't have time to pretend he had any nurturing instincts that could possibly improve the situation.  

“I need to see Gabriel. Stop being difficult,” Lucifer said, gritting his teeth as every shaking breath reminded him what horrible guardian he was.

“Why?” Natalie asked softly. If the rumors were true, Gabriel was still in contact with Father. He needed to know if his suspicions were correct.    

“I need to ask him something,” Lucifer said, keeping his answer vague. The last thing he needed was her to freak out on him again.  

“Why?” Natalie asked again, starting the insufferable chain of questions that always left him wondering why he did anything at all.

“It's important,” Lucifer said, stubbornly avoiding the subject. She wasn't the human he was concerned about at the moment.  

“Why?” Natalie asked. No longer crying uncontrollably as her curiosity got the best of her.

Giving up, he slumped against a tree and put her down, deciding it was better to address the problem now than have her bring it up in front of one of the other angels later. Absently stroking her back, he picked his words carefully.

“I think there might be someone new around. We want them to go away before they cause trouble,” Lucifer said, twisting the truth a bit. He'd rather she didn't meet this new human. That would complicate matters.

“But, new people are just new friends you haven't met yet,” Natalie said, resistant to his line of thinking thanks to Michael's obvious influence.

“Look kid, that's just not true. I need to fix this before it's too late,” Lucifer said. If he let this new human run free, Father was bound to introduce more sooner or later. One was enough.

“Why? If you just give people a chance, maybe-” Natalie said, annoyingly defiant. He missed the days when she would just do what she was told.

“I hate humans. Stop trying to change my mind,” Lucifer snapped, instantly regretting the way he phrased that. He berated himself, thinking I don't like humans, except you. You are always the exception.

“So, you don't like me,” Natalie said, getting the wrong idea.

“I never said that,” Lucifer said with a scowl, holding onto her more tightly.

“But I'm human,” Natalie insisted, already tearing up.

“That doesn't matter,” Lucifer said. She should now by now how he felt. He shouldn't have to say anything.    

“Why?” Natalie asked. Her high pitched saccharine voice barely audible as she trembled in his arms.

“Because you're my Natalie,” Lucifer said, feeling the warmth rush to his cheeks as he spit out the words. He hated how his heart battered against his rib cage, desperate to escape. He felt so exposed. She was nothing. So, why? Why did she mean everything?  

“And, you're my angel,” Natalie murmured, triggering a ghost of a memory.

Unbidden, sensations of a place long since lost to time, hit him. He could practically taste the salty air and feel the grainy sand give way to the cool touch of the ocean as the gentle waves reached his feet. For a moment, he could picture it, and he found himself breathless. She was there as tall and beautiful as any angel. The setting sun bathing her in a heavenly light.  

“I'm scared of Hell. But I have faith that you'll save me,” She said.

Immediately, he realized that he hadn't, tainting the memory. Lucifer didn't register he was crying until he felt a teardrop fall onto his hand. So, this is why he couldn't give up the girl. He'd failed her once, and some part of him couldn't bare the thought of losing her again.

“Why are you sad?” Natalie asked, patting his cheek to get his attention. He blinked disoriented as he snapped back into reality.

“ I don't know anymore,” Lucifer said, pinching the bridge of his nose, willingly the feelings to fade. What even was Hell? Why did it fill him with such insurmountable dread?

“ I'll help you. Come with me,” Natalie said, taking hold of his arm and gently pulling him forward. He indulged her, getting up and faithfully following along without complaint.

“Heh, where are you taking me kid?” Lucifer asked, amused by the grim determination on her face.

“The pond. Michael says, you need to wash your face and take deep breaths when you're sad,” Natalie said.

“Of course, he does,” Lucifer said, unable to hide the irritation in his voice. Leave it to Michael to actually give her good advice.  All he ever seemed to do was make her cry or almost get her killed on a daily basis. That seemed to be true no matter what reality he was living in.

Taking a deep breath, Lucifer splashed water on his face. The cold water was a pleasant distraction from the sudden intense emotion surging through him. He splashed even more water on his face, attempting to rub it into his skin and purge the crippling shame from his body. How long until he failed this little girl?  

“Do you feel better?” Natalie asked, a small frown forming on her lips as she tugged at his robe. He stopped scrubbing, realizing that his sudden frantic need to cleanse himself of sin was upsetting her.

“Not really,” Lucifer said, sighing as he looked at his reflection in the water. What even was sin? He had such a headache. He rubbed his temple, deciding it would be better to reflect on what little he'd learned later when the girl wasn't with him.  

“It's okay. Michael says it's because you bottle up your feelings,” Natalie said, smiling brightly, not quite comprehending what she'd just told him.  

“And, why would Michael tell you this?” Lucifer asked, extremely vexed, blood practically boiling. Wasn't it enough he was doing his best to appear competent in front of the girl when he was taking care of her? Why would Michael undermine him like this?

“He was explaining why you're mean sometimes. He says you have trouble expressing yourself so you lash out,” Natalie said, again repeating what Michael said without quite grasping the meaning behind the words. He sighed, annoyed as the anger ebbed away. Michael was just trying to prepare her for his inevitable temper tantrums. The shame returned ten fold.

“What? Why are you looking at me weird?” Natalie asked. She wouldn't understand, even if he explained. He made up an excuse. Doing his best to force a smile, he ruffled her hair, causing a few strands to escape her carefully constructed braid.  

“It's scary how fast you're growing. A few weeks ago, you were barely able to say anything,” Lucifer said, slightly guilty. No matter what he did, Natalie kept remembering random bits of her past. Even when he erased the memories, the knowledge itself wasn't really lost, just buried, causing her to mentally age at a significantly faster rate than her tiny body could ever manage.    

“Michael says, I'm a smart cookie,” Natalie said, beaming at him. He let himself relax at the sight. She was still a child for now. Lucifer would try to keep it that way, at least for a little while longer.  

“Yeah, he's right about that much, ” Lucifer said, lifting her up and materializing his wings in one swift motion. The trip wouldn't take long. Michael was working in a nearby forest with Gabriel.  Natalie began to pout as she realized what was happening.

“Do I have to go? I want to stay with you,” Natalie asked, encircling his neck with practiced urgency. Her bottom lip quivering in a calculated move to guilt trip him into keeping her for a few more hours. As always, the temptation to give in to her demands was hard to resist, but Zadkiel could cause a lot of trouble in a few hours.

“I'll come back for you,” Lucifer promised. Lately, this was all he needed to say to reassure her that he'd be back. Unfortunately, he'd ruined that with the stunt he'd pulled earlier. She practically had a vice grip around his neck.

“But-” Natalie said. Eyes widening in fear, clearly convinced he wouldn't return if she let him go.

“You're my Natalie. I'm just letting Michael borrow you for a while. We don't want him to get jealous,” Lucifer said, aware that Natalie already knew Michael desperately wanted to be the favorite.

Unfortunately, Natalie was already adept at manipulating Michael into getting her anything she wanted. Once, he'd found her playing with a spear unsupervised. When he'd confronted Michael about it, he tried to pin the blame on Natalie, saying she told him that Lucifer let her play with weapons all the time. After several screaming matches and one or two brawls, Lucifer had given up trying to teach Michael not to take what Natalie said at face value. If he had something to gain, his brother was more than willing to overlook common sense.

“Yeah, he's really insecure,” Natalie whispered as if this was a closely guarded secret. He choked back his laughter.

“Where did you hear that?” Lucifer asked. She'd definitely overhead one of the other angels saying that, most likely on one of the rare occasions Michael pawned her off on someone else besides him. No way, they'd tell her something like that while Michael was in earshot.

“Gabe,” Natalie said. Lucifer couldn't say he was surprised.

 


	5. Hungry for Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lucifer curses Michael's sudden but inevitable betrayal, and Natalie once again makes the wrong decision for the right reasons

###  **Hungry for Heaven**

The trip was far from easy. Normally, the sound of the two bickering angels would have told him where they were within minutes, but the forest was eerily quiet. He struggled to keep Natalie still the longer they stayed in the air. Not that he could blame her, this was the third time he'd had to circle this particular patch of forest. After two or three close calls where she'd almost fallen to her death from sheer impatience, he landed in a nearby clearing, deciding it would be more productive and far less nerve wracking to walk. At least, he'd get a good look at the new flora and fauna that way. Before he could take another step, Michael appeared as if he'd been expecting them. Lucifer frowned. No Gabe.

“Hey Luce, long time no see. You need a break?” Michael asked, perfectly cheery. Lucifer rolled his eyes, low on patience.

“Where's Gabe? I need to speak with him” Lucifer said. Michael's smile cracked for a fraction of a second before laughing off his brother's sudden seriousness.

“That Gabe, always so busy, he took off all of a sudden, saying he had an urgent matter to take care of,” Michael said with a shrug.

Then, he had no reason to stick around. Lucifer nodded, shoving Natalie into Michael's arms, not interested in drawn out goodbyes today. Time was of the essence.

 Turning around, he materialized his wings and prepared to take flight, only to be stopped by his brother roughly grabbing his shoulder and holding him back.  Annoyed, he shot his brother a look, flexing his wings to illustrate his impatience. His brother grinned sheepishly.

“Wait, why don't you wait here for Gabe? He said he'd be back,” Michael said, rushing out the words in one breath. Lucifer raised an eyebrow. If he didn't know better, he'd think his brother was trying to stall him.

“I'd rather get this over with,” Lucifer muttered, dismissing the thought. Michael would never deceive him like that, not when it was this important.  

“But, we never spend time together anymore. It'll be fun, ” Michael insisted.

Lucifer's eyes widened, mouth agape in disbelief. This was such a calculated guilt trip that he was having trouble saying no. Was his brother just lonely without Gabe around?

“I can't right now, but-” Lucifer said, attempting to let him down easy.

“Please Lucifer,” Natalie begged, making his heart flutter as his name left her lips. Lucifer felt his resolve weakening. Gabriel said he'd be back. How much of a difference could a few hours make?  

“I guess I can stay for a little while,” Lucifer said, letting out an agitated sigh.

Michael slapped him on the back, ruffling his feathers.

“Great, we can play hide and seek,” Michael said, setting Natalie down.

The girl clapped her hands together excitedly, jumping up and down.

“Yay, I wanna hide first,” Natalie said.

Lucifer didn't like the sound of that at all. The last thing he wanted was to encourage Natalie to hide from him for fun, and yet, here they were, willingly watching her run off to her possible doom. When she was out of earshot, he turned to Michael, baring his teeth.

“Hide and seek? Really Michael? You do realize how often she runs off on me without prompting. Why would you encourage this? Who even came up with this stupid game?” he asked, huffing and puffing as he finished his rant. Michael smiled lazily.

“Oh, come on, Luce, don't be such a kill joy. She loves hide and seek. Besides, if she's ever in trouble when we're not around, hiding is a useful skill for her to know,” Michael explained.

Lucifer took a deep breath, taking a moment to consider all the trouble Natalie could have avoided if she'd been capable of keeping her mouth shut until he arrived. Lucifer crossed his arms and huffed.

“Whatever, let's start looking before something eats her,” Lucifer grumbled. Michael laughed, leaning over to whisper the answer to his last question.

“Zadkiel accidentally invented the game last week when she was hiding from Uriel.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. He was in for some gossip. Michael loved reporting on Heaven's drama.

“Sure but why? Doesn't seem like her kind of thing,” Lucifer said. Maybe, if moving projectiles were involved, but the game was a little too basic to satisfy Zadkiel's competitive zeal.

“Apparently one of her recruits new weapons was a bit too effective, left her smelling like a skunk, the poor thing was too embarrassed to face him,” Michael said, with faux pity.

Lucifer stifled a laugh. He had a good idea who that unnamed recruit was. It was miracle Zadkiel hadn't dismissed him from her ranks then and there. If she ever did, he'd snatch him up quickly. Pax was an idiot, but he was a creative idiot. That unpredictability was more than enough reason to have him around.

“Anyway, when he finally caught up to her, instead of admitting the truth, she convinced him that they'd been playing hide and seek all along, and he'd just forgotten about the game. He actually bought it.” Michael said, shaking his head, probably assuming Uriel was a little too naive for his own good.

Lucifer smirked. Uriel had obviously chosen to play along with Zadkiel's ridiculous farce to spare her feelings. In some ways, they were a perfect match. Still, he was rooting for someone else to win Uriel over if Raphael ever worked up the nerve to look up from his sketchbook.

“And thus, Hide and Seek became a thing. It's more fun to play on Earth though,” Michael said, ending the conversation. Lucifer nodded, cracking his knuckles to ease his nerves.

Why couldn't he hear the girl? She should have given herself away by now. He hated leaving Natalie alone. It didn't help that the only reason they were even playing this stupid game was because of his conniving sister. Lucifer cursed her under his breath. She was quickly becoming the bane of his existence.

Lucifer scowled as he scanned the forest floor for any signs of movement. They'd been searching for her for over an hour, but the girl was nowhere to be found. Finally, they heard a faint whimper coming from a tree hole a few feet away. Realizing she was stuck, Lucifer tore the tree apart to get her out, allowing Michael to take her and calm her down afterwards, but of course, she refused to stay with Michael for very long, practically begging him to stay and hold her. She'd been such a blubbering mess that he'd given in to her demands almost instantly. He'd only managed to sneak away after sunset when she'd fallen asleep.

Lucifer searched in vain for any signs of his sibling's whereabouts, finding Heaven's temples strangely empty. Deciding to take advantage of this rare opportunity, he entered Zadkiel's room unopposed, looking for any clues to confirm his suspicions. He checked her usual secret places and found nothing new. Then, he considered what he would do to keep a secret. He scanned the room for clues hidden in plain sight. Lucifer walked over to Zadkiel's nightstand and examined a small knife he found on the counter. Normally, he wouldn't give a knife in Zadkiel's room a second thought as she was an avid collector of them, but his sister would have no use for a knife this small. He scanned the inscription and frowned, _From Zadkiel with love._ He set the knife down where he found it and moved on.

Lucifer picked up a strange potted plant nearby. The flower was large with bright yellow petals, reminding him of the Sun. He read the card attached to it, _To My Pocket of Sunshine_. He rolled his eyes, nearly convinced that he'd merely stumbled into Zadkiel's latest gift pile for Uriel until he turned the card around. _This is a gift from our little sunbeam. I hope you two can meet one day._ He resisted the urge to sabotage the gift, painstakingly putting the plant exactly where he had found it. Satisfied that he had enough evidence to confront Gabriel, he rushed past the entrance, bumping into Zadkiel. She pieced together what happened quickly and pinned him to the wall, knives out.

“You have five seconds to explain yourself before I carve out your eye for spying on me,” Zadkiel hissed. Lucifer gulped, paralyzed by the gleaming knife pressed against his throat, aware that this was no idle threat. He mustered up his courage and confronted her. Maybe, she had the information he was seeking.

“I know you're taking care of a human child too. Why would Father make a second one and not tell me?” Lucifer asked, an ugly festering resentment taking root deep within him. If this child had existed all along and been kept away from him, everything about the situation indicated that his Father did not trust him at all.

Her eyes widened, dumbfounded that he'd risk losing an eye for that, before suddenly breaking into laughter. Zadkiel relaxed, releasing him and stashing her knives somewhere in the deep folds of her robe. She patted his cheek, an amused grin plastered on her face.

“I wanted to tell you, but Gabriel insisted that you wouldn't be able to handle the existence of a second human yet. Guess he was right if you were willing to go through with a suicide mission and enter my domain uninvited,” Zadkiel said, eyes flashing in a subtle warning not to try that again.

“I see,” Lucifer said slowly, unable to deny the accusation. His intentions were not good. Lucifer didn't know what he planned to do to this second human when he found him. He just knew he wanted him gone.  

“I'll forgive you since I provoked you. I just couldn't resist taking a peek at Cain's future bride. She's a sweet thing, not what I was expecting, but I can already tell they'll be a good match, the gardener and the garden,” Zadkiel said wistfully. She must have talked to Raphael.

Lucifer froze, growing pale at the implication. He hadn't been thinking that far ahead, yet Zadkiel clearly had. All of his sister's actions took on a whole new sinister meaning. He shook his head, dismissing the intrusive thoughts. Cain wouldn't be sticking around long enough for that to matter.

“That's not happening,” Lucifer said, crossing his arms. Never mind the fact Natalie loved nearly everything that came within a twenty foot radius of her, he'd make sure they never met.

“That's not really for you to decide, Lucifer. Sure, Natalie is a child now, but she won't be forever. You should be focusing on preparing her for survival without you, not coddling her so she can't fend for herself,” Zadkiel said, having the nerve to lecture him when she'd only seen them together for little over an hour.

“Think what you want, she'll never be without me,” Lucifer said icily. Her complaints were far too specific to have come from her. She must have talked to Michael too.

His whole family must have known of this second child's existence. No one trusted him. No one believed in him. The raging fire in his soul became a roaring inferno, threatening to consume him and burn his soul to ashes. He and Michael would be exchanging words. As for Gabriel and Raphael . . . they'd been smart to run.

“The thing is one day she won't need you anymore, and she'll ask you to leave herself. For her sake and yours, you best prepare yourself for that day, little brother,” Zadkiel said.

As always, Zadkiel's intentions weren't malicious per say, but the harsh truth cut worse than any blade, triggering emotions he couldn't quite place. He focused on the emotion he recognized, letting the anger seep inside and fuel his poison tongue.  

“Perhaps, you're the one who should prepare for life without Cain,” Lucifer hissed.

“Ah, I see. ” Zadkiel said, seeing the change in his demeanor instantly. She didn't reach for her hidden knives. Instead, she grabbed the small knife sitting on the counter, casually pulling it out of its sheath. She moved her thumb over the blade, revealing its sharpness when her blood trickled to the floor. He backed away instinctively. Zadkiel wasn't above poisoning him if she decided that he was indeed a threat to her little 'sunbeam.'

“I trust you understand that if you touch one hair on my baby boy's head, I'll end you,” Zadkiel said. He nodded, deciding now wasn't the time to argue. The child was nowhere in sight. He'd gain nothing from provoking her now. She returned the blade to its sheath.  

“Good, leave my presence,” Zadkiel said, pointing to the door.

Lucifer didn't need to be told twice. He ran past her, jumping off the ledge before hastily unfurling his wings. He was relieved to return to the sky where his speed would guarantee him some level of safety. Lucifer decided not to seek out Gabriel. There was likely nothing he could tell him that Zadkiel hadn't revealed already. Let the coward hide away. For now, he would return to Natalie's side. After speaking with Zadkiel, Lucifer could use some reassurance that Natalie was still the small child that adored him and would follow him to the ends of the earth if she had to.

When he arrived, she was not there. Immediately, the deathly quiet put him on edge. He found her in the center of her tiny garden, crumpled on the ground and covered in blood. His whole world stopped in that moment. Time had meaning for him now, and in an ironic twist, he was quickly running out of it. If he didn't stop the bleeding soon, he would lose her again, and this time there would be no way to get her back. How was this even possible? She was under Michael's protection. This shouldn't have happened. Lucifer ran to her, for once, not stopping to think.

Falling to his knees beside her, Lucifer frantically scooped her up in his arms, taking her trembling hand in his. He paused when he noticed the thin careful cut on her palm. Natalie smiled, a small traitorous smile as Michael struck him from behind. The blade pierced his flesh, just deep enough to subdue him. At first, he didn't understand why, and then, Michael calmly bent down and took his hand, making an equally clean thin cut. The girl pressed her hand to his palm, and the connection was made. The wound on her hand healed, but in return, her back dripped blood from the newly formed gashes, mirroring his own wounds. Her erratic heart beat became his erratic heart beat. His pain was now hers, and her pain was now his.      

“Congrats, you get to be her guardian in Eden,” Michael said coldly, working quickly to heal his wounds for the girl's sake. Only now that the shock had worn off did he notice the rest of the blood was not hers, Michael had covered her in boar's blood to trick him into coming closer.

“And, if I refuse,” Lucifer said, through gritted teeth, growing defiant as he grasped the enormity of his brother's betrayal. He was her damn guardian. So, why? Why would Michael do this?

“The pact's done, anything that happens to her, happens to you. Don't do anything stupid now,” Michael said, leaving his side to travel to the nearby pond. The implied threat had him reeling. Determined to keep her safe, he held her even closer, shielding her from Michael's wrath, only for her to squirm out of his grip when Michael called her over. Somehow that small betrayal stung worse than all the others.    

“You little traitor,” Lucifer spat.

“I want you to stay good, Lucifer,” Natalie said, smiling weakly as Michael cleaned the blood off her body. Her thundering heart told him she meant every word. Lucifer made his decision. She was only a child. Michael was the one who had poisoned her against him.

Still suffering from phantom pains along his back, he stood, staggering forward to confront Michael. His brother ignored him, silently comforting Natalie's shaking form as if Lucifer not Michael had left her absolutely petrified. Lucifer hesitated a moment when he saw her eyes widen in terror before shoving her aside to get to his brother. Blinded by wild fury, he pinned his brother to the ground and pounded his chest repeatedly, growing frustrated when Michael refused to fight back.

“You're literally kicking me out of Heaven,” Lucifer shouted. He had no proof, but he could feel the connection slipping away the longer he was bound to the girl. Michael said nothing. He'd become frigid and hard to read out of nowhere, making the situation even more unbearable.

Putting all his strength into one final blow, he hit Michael square in the chest, determined to make him feel something. Michael's rib cracked on contact, making him wince. And still, he tolerated Lucifer's violent bout of anger, or he did until he caught sight of Natalie huddled against a large rock by the pond, crying softly to herself. Lucifer froze, the anger fading as he slowly realized that he'd become the villain in her eyes. Michael pushed him off, doing his best to put on a cheerful facade for Natalie's sake.

“Nope, consider it more of a time out,” Michael said, pulling himself up by one arm while he subtly healed himself with the other.

With one hand pressed against his side, he gradually made his way to Natalie. Once he did, he ignored his injuries and held her close, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Lucifer didn't dare approach. The pain of rejection all too likely in her current state.  

“What? Why?” Lucifer said dumbfounded. He'd done everything Father asked of him and more.  

“You left her with me to go eliminate Cain. Did you think there wouldn't be consequences? Everyone has to follow the rules, Lucifer, even you,” Michael said, not bothering to mask the underlying resentment behind the words.

Everything clicked, and he swore under his breath. Why had he trusted her so completely? Natalie had never been good at keeping secrets.  

“I wasn't going to kill him,” Lucifer said. At least, he hadn't actively decided that yet.

“Then, how exactly were you planning to make him go away?” Michael asked.

Lucifer didn't know. He'd never seen his brother so full of hatred before. For once, his words failed him. As far as Michael was concerned, his silence was all the confession he needed.

“That's what I thought. Consider your time on Earth penance for your arrogance, as long as you two are linked, you won't be able to return to Heaven. And if you get out of line, she'll suffer with you,” Michael said, deadly serious. He flinched, aware of how easily Michael could follow through with his threat while Natalie clung to him, blissfully unaware of the danger. They were using his fondness for the girl against him.

“Michael, you wouldn't hurt a child,” Lucifer whispered, silently begging him to leave her out of this without ever bringing himself to say the words.

His eyes remained cold as he considered the small sniveling girl holding onto him for dear life. And yet, the ice in his heart seemed to melt when the girl smiled at him, far too trusting for her own good. He sighed and shook his head.

“You're right. I wouldn't,” Michael said, choosing to return Natalie to him despite the girl's desperate pleas and clawing fingers.

“But Zadkiel might,” Michael warned him before taking flight. Lucifer grimaced, having already experienced a small taste of Zadkiel's wrath. His brother's figure slowly faded away in the distance, obscured by the clouds above. And just like that, his last connection to Heaven was gone.

There wasn't time to feel sorry or vengeful. With no Michael in sight to comfort her, Natalie shrieked, fighting with renewed vigor to escape from his grasp. He shushed her, but she only cried louder. All but daring him to yell back, he held his tongue, refusing to let her go, even as she chomped on his arm and hollered every curse she'd learned from him with wild abandon. Being able to feel her every ounce of terror made the experience all the more draining, he shut his eyes, willing his misery to end.

“Bad Lucifer, Bad,” Natalie yelled, yanking his hair with her tiny fists. He patiently withstood her harmless if painful onslaught, annoyed that she'd turned on him so easily.

“Why are you mad? I didn't do anything wrong, and now, I'm stuck on this miserable planet because you tricked me,” Lucifer snapped. Never mind the fact, that he'd been spending the majority of his time here by choice, he hated Michael for exiling him to this hunk of rock were everything tried to kill each other, just because he wanted to get rid of some lowly human.  

On any other day, even this small show of anger would have been enough for her to lose her nerve and apologize, instead, she puffed up her cheeks and slapped him, hard. He rubbed the newly formed mark bitterly. Michael must have been giving her self defense lessons behind his back.  

“You don't kill. Angels protect,” Natalie insisted. He felt something inside him constrict in an unfamiliar way, an unpleasant tension building in his chest.

“Fine,” Lucifer said. The words slipping out of their own accord. The weight on his chest lifted and a brief feeling of euphoria hit him, leaving him unsteady. What in the world was that?

“Good,” Natalie said, cracking a smile as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

As he looked into her red rimmed eyes and watched her wipe the snot from her nose, he felt his wretched insides twist and writhe. Michael might have been the idiot who brought her into this mess, but he'd hurt her, and whatever suddenly had a fierce strangle hold on his emotions wanted to make it right. On impulse, he called forth his wings and enveloped her in their protective light, sheltering them from the bloody fields of wild flowers. With her safely cocooned by his side, he relaxed, smirking when she gasped, awestruck by his wings.

“Can I touch them?” she asked after taking a minute or two to silently admire them.

Lucifer hesitated, the word no on the tip of his tongue. Standing on his calves, she pressed her delicate hands onto his cheeks and continued to beg. “Please, Lucifer, I won't hurt you,” she promised.

Without warning, the mild stinging sensation present on his palms flared to life, drawing his attention to the scrapes on her hands. Grabbing her wrists, his mouth twisted into a frown as he inspected the multitude of tiny cuts on her palm. It occurred to him that she'd cut herself on the sharp rocks near the pond when he'd pushed her. He sighed, slowly healing her cuts one by one.  

“Tell me when your hurt, kid,” he muttered, exasperated as he realized that his now weak connection to Heaven made healing her difficult. She nodded meekly.

After inspecting every inch of her for more cuts and bruises and finding none, he let her go. She sat beside him, not looking at him directly. The silence was deafening. He bit his lip, growing uncomfortable. Normally, she would have said something by now. Some part of his soul began to panic, urging him to break the silence. Natalie occupied herself by picking flowers, tearing them apart with her fingertips. It was uncharacteristically destructive of her.

“Are you still mad at me?” Natalie asked finally.

Lucifer didn't answer right away. He should be, but he wasn't. Without her, Michael would have never have been able to subdue him so easily. Even so, she'd merely been a pawn in Michael's game. With a heavy sigh, he shook his head. Natalie embraced him, using all the strength in her tiny body to let him know she was sorry for hurting him. The tension in his soul eased.

“You can touch them if you want,” he said reluctantly.

Maybe, he'd never be as kind and nurturing as his brothers and sisters, but he could afford to give her this one small happiness at least. She instantly brightened, grinning from ear to ear, as she ran to the glowing feathery mass encasing them. Lucifer shivered involuntarily as she gently stroked his feathers. His wings had been a gift from God, splendid to look at, but otherwise essentially serving the same function as any other pair of wings. Before her, he hadn't given the gift much thought. Now, they were priceless, solely because they could always bring a smile to her face, no matter how badly he'd screwed up on that particular day. He felt his mind grow hazy the longer she fussed over his feathers. Lucifer yawned, surprised by the effect such a simple touch had on him. He closed his eyes only for a moment.

The girl shook him, and he opened his eyes to acknowledge her, only to see her holding an armful of his glowing feathers. Startled, he spread his wings wide, revealing the night sky. Lucifer rubbed his eyes, still disoriented. He could not recall for the life of him what had happened in the last few hours.            

“Can I keep them? They fell off,” Natalie claimed, sorting them from largest to smallest excitedly. He eyed her suspiciously.

“You didn't pull them off? ” he asked.

Natalie shook her head vigorously. He watched her for any signs she was lying, but Natalie was not nervous or fidgeting. Instead, she stared back at him expectantly, perfectly angelic.

“Sure kid,” Lucifer said, analyzing his wings for any signs of damage. Maybe, he was sick?

When he inspected his wings, he found no critical signs of wear and tear or patches of dull feathers indicating a larger problem. In fact, they shone even more brightly than usual. He flapped them experimentally, a few feathers came lose and his wings felt significantly lighter. Satisfied that he was fine, he pushed the odd discovery to the back of his mind. If he still had access to Heaven, he would have asked Raphael but . . . His family didn't want him around. They'd made that quite clear.

Tired of standing in a desecrated field, he banished his wings and started walking along the solitary dirt path leading to an untainted section of the garden.

“Umm . . . Help?” Natalie said, struggling to keep up as she stepped around the bloody patches staining the small garden red all while carrying a suspiciously large blue satchel.

“Hold on, I'll get us out of here,” Lucifer said, picking her up when she finally caught up to him.

He confiscated her bag and checked its contents, only to find it conveniently packed with her few belongings and a mess of his feathers. Michael was a considerate wretch. He'd admit that much.

Beautiful white lilies greeted them from the outskirts of the road, swaying in the wind. When they reached the brook, he set her down on a smooth rock. This section of the garden wasn't the most comfortable place in the world to rest, but she'd be safe here. Right now, that was all that mattered. He laid down beside her on the rocky earth below, letting the bubbling brook ease his nerves with its song. Natalie jumped down on him, making him grunt as tiny pebbles dug into his back. She nestled by his side, stealing his warmth as she made use of his soft moving flesh to rock herself to sleep.

As she started to dose off, Lucifer finally had time to think. He wished he didn't. His own family had betrayed him, declaring him guilty without giving him a chance to prove his innocence or at the very least repent for his supposed crimes. Michael, given the choice, had chained him to a lesser being for the sake of an even more unworthy creature. He'd chosen a stranger over his own brother, leaving him on earth to be forgotten and ridiculed.

Shakily, he began to sing, trying to drown out his sorrow with melodies that had once brought him comfort. Now, they were haunting and pained. His eyes began to water as he wondered if Michael could hear his pitiful pleas from Heaven. The girl seized fistfuls of cloth from of his robe, eyes shimmering with unspoken emotion. He embraced her, afraid that he had upset her with his unearthly cries.

“Don't be sad. I'll love you just as much as Michael. Stay with me,” Natalie said, attempting to reassure him with what little she had to offer. He choked back a sob, again feeling the pressure of a tether around his soul. Lucifer finally recognized the connection for what it was.

“Okay,” Lucifer said, giving in to the blood magic's whims. He was rewarded with another brief feeling of euphoria, a taste of the Heaven that had rejected him. He closed his eyes, letting fatigue that wasn't his wash over him as he surrendered to the darkness.

When he awoke at sunrise, the first thing he saw was the girl's smiling face, the sun's shining rays giving her a deceptively ethereal appearance. Natalie bent down and kissed each of his cheeks.

“I love you, Lucifer,” Natalie said. His heart jumped, reacting to the words like never before.

“I'm glad I met someone like you,” Natalie said, echoing a memory that he would likely never get to see. Instead, his soul would make him feel things without giving him any damn context.

Sometimes he envied her for remembering everything so clearly. Alas, she was only a child, and she was better off starting a new without the burden of a world that would never be again. And yet, when he placed his hands on her head, he couldn't seem to bring himself to erase the sweet remembrance. She tilted her head looking at him questioningly. His trembling hands faltered and fell to his sides.  

“Why do you want me to forget you, again?” Natalie asked, laying on top of him and encircling his neck. He flinched, letting out a strangled cough. She still smelled so strongly of blood.

Natalie released him, seeming to realize this as she moved a few feet away and attempted to scrape some of the remaining blood off with her fingers. It was a pitiful sight.

“I don't,” Lucifer admitted, getting up to stop her from rubbing her skin raw. He crouched down and gently asked for her hand. Natalie immediately seized his hand and used him as an anchor to pick herself up. Once she was on her feet, he lead her to the nearby brook.

“But when you say I love you like that, it's like I'm talking to a ghost,” Lucifer said, glancing at their reflection in the water. From were they stood, their distorted images almost seemed to be the same height. Natalie was unusually quiet, mesmerized by the blurred forms staring back at them from the brook below.

Seeing an opportunity, he submerged her in the water without much warning. It was cruel but effective, most of the blood washed off, then and there.  

Natalie squealed in protest when she reemerged from the frigid water, shivering uselessly. He laughed, expertly warming the water for her. Her expression changed as she processed yet another memory. She pouted, furrowing her eyebrows, slightly confused. He pulled her closer, holding her firmly in place while he scrubbed off the flecks of blood as best he could.

“You deserve a chance to live this life as if it was your first,” Lucifer said, pouring water over her hair carefully, taking the time to rub the dirt and blood from her orange strands.

“Okay,” Natalie said, lip quivering, a pained look on her face.

“Are you alright?” Lucifer asked, recognizing the look of trauma all to well. The accompanying memory must not have been pleasant. Natalie nodded, resting against him and letting out a shaky breath. She wasn't convincing.

When he finished washing her body, he turned his attention to her ruined clothes. Working methodically, he manage to wring some of the blood from the fabric but was unable to restore the white dress to its former glory. He shot daggers at the stain that wouldn't go away. How on earth was he going to replace the stupid dress without Heaven's resources?

Having nothing better to do, he bitterly continued to scrub the fabric until his hands were raw and red. Growing concerned, the girl tapped his shoulder. When that didn't work, she let out a high pitch whimper. He looked up, eyes flashing with unresolved hatred.

“What? I'm busy,” he hissed.  

Slightly taken aback, she broke eye contact with him and started fiddling with her hair.

“It's okay. Michael packed me an extra set of clothes,” Natalie mumbled. Oh.

Suddenly guilty, he let out a sharp exhale and gave her two short pats on the head before depositing her on the ground. Getting up, he calmly walked over and grabbed the dumb satchel.

“Good thinking, kid,” Lucifer said, rummaging through the thing until he found what he was looking for. The damn dress was orange, betraying Zadkiel's involvement. He considered changing the color out of spite but was foiled when Natalie snatched the thing from him, running to a nearby tree to change.

Accepting his fate, Lucifer waited for her to present herself in the orange abomination. The girl had the audacity to try to sneak up on him. He pretended not to see her until she was only a foot or two away. Then, he jumped up and nabbed her before she had a chance to escape. She feigned terror, screaming at the top of her lungs. He laughed, tickling her until she gasped for breath. It was the closest thing to normalcy they'd experienced since the incident. He hated to ruin this newfound peace, but if he didn't do this now, he never would. 

“Close your eyes,” Lucifer said. She froze, having gone through this enough times to understand what was about to happen.

“And, you won't feel a thing,” Lucifer finished.

For once, she didn't protest or cry. She simply shut her eyes and waited. Taking a deep breath, he set his hands on top of her head and concentrated. The process went smoothly. Memories fading in a matter of seconds. One image stuck with him though. Lucifer, seemingly larger and stronger than he was now, standing in the water with two deep gashes on his back. The final piece fell into place, the shining symbol of his Father's love, freely given for a human life. He grew pale as his Fathers words returned to haunt him.

_Remember, sacrifice is a gift, not a curse. It's the reason you're here._

And, he'd already ruined this second chance. The girl tugged at his robe, trying to get his attention. He looked down, too weary to force a neutral expression onto his face.

“Hey kid, I think I want to be alone for a little while. Do you mind?” he asked. The girl began to pout, attempting in vain to push his lips together into a smile.

“Why are you sad now? You're worse than Gabe,” Natalie said. He snickered, positive she'd gotten that impression from Michael.

Freaking Michael . . . he likely wouldn't be seeing that idiot any time soon.

“I'm going to cheer you up, and you're going to like it,” Natalie said, pointing an accusing finger at him. He chuckled and nodded, playing along.

As he sat there listening to the girl butcher the melody she'd heard him sing the day before, he found the loss of Heaven pained him a little less today than the day before.    


End file.
